Last one I thought of before I go on my hike, this is a work one:
Years ago it was a slow day at work with multiple cancellations and so I was paired up with this middle aged guy who was kind of just a shit employee. Alcoholic, misogynist (the legit kind), hot head, long since having been fired nowadays. Because it was slow we had some down time, but we were on call for any community calls/requests that came in. He wanted to spend the downtime at his apartment close to the work office. We were watching a movie there when he says he wants to rip his bong. “Come on it’s slow, we’re not going to get any calls, just hit it with me”. He kept pressuring me and pressuring and finally I caved and did 2 big bong rips
Right after I finish the second rip the work phone goes off. It’s a police request for an out of control aggressive teenager (these sorts of situations should be considered DV/criminal/delinquent and not mental health, but police love to call these mental health calls, we call them “dump jobs” when they dump them on us). And this was years ago when pot was still illegal in AZ
“Oh God eye drops, do you have any eye drops”. I’m going to be speaking with cops who are trained to spot signs of intoxication, if we get a complaint that the mental health workers showed up high that’s it, we’re fired. Luckily he had some eye drops. We coordinate with police, and find out the teen was beating up his parents because they wouldn’t give him money for pot. So then I have to talk to this shitty domestic violence abuser teen about the risks of substance abuse, while high out of my mind
I’m glad God chose to punish me with situations like that, to teach me a lesson (that I only needed once) about getting high on the clock
Edit: oh yea and on the way there this guy says “I’m way too high so you are going to be doing all of the talking”. Thanks buddy….
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