The NVS 3100M is a 10 year old chip that is based off the GT218 chip which is even older. It is in the same performance bracket as the 18 year old Geforce FX 5800. I would not be surprised if the NVS 3100M in your laptop is just rebranded FX 5800 chips. Which could explain the game picking it up as that.
Black screen after nvidia driver install might be because that NVS3100M is considered by Nvidia as a 'Legacy Device' and as such needs a legacy driver, not the main branch 'nvidia' driver. So now that makes sense why you were seeing nouveau drivers. The auto installer for your distro probably picked that because the normal nvidia driver would have been incompatible and the installer just wanted you to get a display by the end. Looks like you are going to be stuck with the nouveau drivers.
I would definitely suggest using your distros repository to install a precompiled wine rather than building it from source. But don't let me stop you from doing that! check winehq and look at all Test Results for Everquest(Private Server). 'winetricks' will be another thing to grab to help make installing things like d3dx9 and all of the other various things that Everquest might need run on well on wine. 'Lutris' and 'PlayOnLinux' can also help take the edge off installing games under wine on linux for first time users. They both have an extensive game database like winehq.
Final note, even though it might be a recent-ish laptop, that video chip is going to struggle with most 3D games; even if you used Windows. When you say you get really bad FPS in a huge crowded raid like environment...to me that sounds about par for the course for that type of hardware. Disabling the compositor(all the fancy window effects like dimming, shading wiggling) might buy you a little bit more performance. Try lowering your game resolution and graphics settings as low as you can make them, especially particles.
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