Dear God of Abraham,
I have not been a good believer. As a matter of fact those Commies did such a good job that it took the benevolence of John Paul II and Ronald Reagan (PBUH) to bring me back into the fold, into the warm embrace of the Catholic faith as a good repentant Papist (no homo and also no pedo). You know I have never doubted you since, and you also know that I've never prayed for anything, never asked for a single thing, because I believe that I am too much of a sinner and too insignificant within your gaze to be allowed your direct favor. I would rather wither and turn to dust than to anger you with such arrogance.
But...
Still.
Just one tiny small insignificant request for you but which would mean the world to me:
Please tell me WHAT IS JOE BIDEN TRYING TO SAY!!! Please I beg you Lord. Ok just this once. Just this one thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0nCBtswloE
(Porky Pig 2020)