1) Your melee damage is negligible so don't really worry about focusing on Str. You won't really be tanking much if at all so you don't really have to worry too much about hps or AC (sta/agi). Bards use INT for mana so Wis is worthless. Int is only kinda useful because only a couple of songs actually use mana (which you won't be using often if at all anyways). Cha is pretty useless too.
Split between Str and Sta. You'll be able to carry a little more and have a few more hps. Not really that important though. you could dump it all into wis and not notice a big different.
3) not sure.
4) It's not decent. Most groups will want you to be attacking anyways though. The big benefit of bards in groups is haste which isn't affected by instrument mods. If you wanna be juggling instruments as well as twisting then go ahead but you'll burn yourself out pretty hard doing that. Stick to attacking and twisting.
5) Depends on your budget. Selos drum/McVaxius's Horn of War are nice for instruments. Also Lute of the Gypsy Princess. Lambent armor is fine. The bard only weapons are easy to come by and cheap.
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