One thing to keep in mind is that these wounds will start to heal and you will feel again and it will be intense. You are going to need really strong support and a safe place to go, be that a hospital or some other place, you might do better going back to Portland and joining forces with the welfare state on a government disability check.
If you stay CLEAN (of drugs) that is a way out eventually. You have to be persistent and willing to survive a year of hell on the street perhaps, but it is an option. Go get checked into the mental institution a few times, it sucks, but be kind and gentle, and polite, and work with the doctors, be honest, and tell them how fucking crazy u feel, don't cut or self harm if u can help avoid that shit is crazy and always ends badly and just ends up costing society more money anyway then just going and taking some pills for a few weeks at a time. You can just default on that shit if u don't have insurance because you are dead to the world. Its going to take a few rounds probably b4 u succeed.
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