If you choose any race but ogre or troll, definitely consider using a one-handed weapon. Mace of the Shadowed Soul is probably the most affordable of the really good ones, then comes Noctavigant Blade, and then Ebon Mace for the rich. There's also that Shard of Night one if it drops yet, but I wouldn't expect to see one for sale really, plus it looks like a plain little dagger and isn't very intimidating.
Those one-handed weapons are fully on par with two-handers for damage, especially when you consider the increased bash damage from using a shield. Without bash, you'll have no way of interrupting spells and you will get raped by caster mobs. The added AC and stats from a shield are also nice on a tank. I always felt kind of naked playing a melee class with no mashable attack button, and while a darkelf with a two-hander isn't doomed, I'd say you're even better off with something like a MoSS and a Sarnak Battle Shield.
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