Idk. Post-merge, while here and there it's been tough finding groups on one of my characters that requires them, I also haven't seen this epidemic of higher levels who get no EXP from the mobs holding down camps.
As far as your whole thing about limited play time, etc. I think you need to accept that this is EQ. You will never be the top guy on the server with limited play time. You won't get to 50 super fast with limited play time. You won't be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. If those types of things are important to you, then you may want to check out other servers like the TLPs which have instances and/or permit boxing (if you want to sort of create your own group). If you don't want to play non those servers, then my advice to you is to enjoy the journey (sorry for the cliche).
Personally, I'm here because I enjoy EQ. I did the whole farming plat and loots and trying to get BIS and have all kinds of max level chars on Blue and it didn't make the game more fun. I have limited play time these days as well. So I stop focusing on my EXP bar and how much gear/money my char has and instead just enjoy the time I have in Norrath when I have it. And I'm having a ton of fun.
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