I think it's important to understand that EverQuest really isn't just "one game", it's multiple, and so you're not so much looking for a guild that "actually plays the game" (although you are) as much as your'e looking for a guild that plays the same game you want to play.
To put it another way, your monks and druid could join a raid guild, and if what you want to do is raid that's great. But if you're looking for people to group with on your bard and necro, while you
might find a single duo partner in a raiding guild, if you're lucky, you're far more likely to find entire groups to join in a family/casual/leveling guild.
I'd recommend first deciding whether you want people to raid with or level with (or, if you really want both, either join two guilds or pick one like Dawn Believers that kind of straddles the line). Then, check out
http://wiki.project1999.com/Guilds:Guild_List. It's the best "bird's eye view" of the servers' guilds, and it separates them into casual, raid, and top-end raid categories (plus ALS gets its own category).
Once you've identified a guild or three in the appropriate section, click their forum link. If they're active they'll likely have at least some recent posts on that thread, and if they're not as active they won't. Within a few tries you should be able to find an active guild that raids or levels, depending on what you want ... ie. a guild with players who will play
the game you want to play with you.
Hope that helps.