I really wish I could help you here. As a human. I fear I only have a hardened heart and soul.
For me it is a weird experience. Like to want good, like for my favorites, but feel like there's no present capacity to bring it about. I guess it isn't entirely distressing when I realize reality is just going to at the least momentarily be this way. I guess I am just learning some measure of acceptance, even of the worst parts, which frees me to persue my own course, even if it's to nowhere.
Well, good night.
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