Don't know what the grief about paying for a port is. I rarely drop less than 50pp for a port. They are providing a service for you and depending on where they're coming from can be a pita to get back.
Money isn't that hard to get in this game and you should make a donation appropriate to your level. It's a dick move not to and you if you don't plan on donating you should tell them up front.
Protip - /split your donation if you're the only other person in the group saves you all that time you have to spend opening the trade window.
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