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Gatekeeping
When someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity.
"I love punk bands like Green Day!"
"Ugh, they're not even punk. They totally sold out."
"Oh man, I love Harry Potter. I am such a geek!"
"Hardly. Talk to me when you're into theoretical physics."
"Erika Moen is my favorite queer cartoonist."
"She's not queer, she married a man!"
"Quit your gatekeeping. No one died and made you Queen of the Gays!"
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Seriously though -- that bitch isn't gay if she married a man.