[JurisDictum]

Being fat is disgusting. It signifies that you are lazy and unhealthy. The younger you are, the worse it is, but its no picnic being a porker at 50+ either. No women (most readers are men) wants to fuck a guy that doesn't look like he can move around a bit. And if your a fat women.. well...you get it without me driving home the point.

It's completely unfair though. I get it. I was one of those people that could get fat when I was a kid. I couldn't just eat whatever I wanted and stay thin like 90%+ of you out there at that age.

Additionally, my parents were stupid about it. Telling me dumb shit like its just genetic and ill grow out of it, and its just genetic when I didn't. Retarded...There is hardly anyone out there that has a hard coded problem with weight loss like that. If that's you -- go the fucking doctor and take your thyroid medication and problem solved.

Now weight gain is genetic, but all that means is some people level at the Troll SK during Classic pace, and other level at a Halfling Druid pace. We all can get 50 without too much trouble -- but some have it a lot easier. That being said, whoever finds it easy to stay thin seems to have a much harder time gaining muscle in a strength training program. So there is some trade off.

But the vast majority of people start getting fat around 30. This is because they don't lift, cardio or watch what they eat -- and their metabolism is now slowing down. They are even less active and they eat even more rich food.

Most people enter this phase of life with no fucking idea what eating healthy is like. They think chicken teriyaki with veggies is healthy and a piece of sirloin steak will kill you. To try to make it as simple as possible:

Don't eat any sugar. Aiming for zero will get you at like 15-20 grams a day most the time. The only thing with sugar in it you should be eating is fruits and a tiny bit in spices. Sugar is moving backwards, don't do it unless you are good with your current weight and can make it up with exercise later.

Most fruit are fine, but avoid: Grapes, Pineapple, Mangos, Papayas, and I'd only eat 1 Banana a day at most. All these tropical type fruits contain concentrated sugar. Apples, Oranges, and Pears -- just having 1 for a snack between meals is the best way to eat fruit IMO.

The other big area of concern is Carbs. Most carbs you as an American are accustomed too are very fucking fating to inactive people. Anything with white flour is a no go for fat people. In shape people have to watch out not to overdo it as many of them know. Same goes for white rice, pasta, and most potatoes.

Sweet potatoes and Yams are really good for you. Any bread needs to be whole wheat -- that Daves Killer Bread power seed is the big corporate brand that comes to mind. Or Ezekial. Basically if it is whole wheat you can have it moderation -- bread, tortillas, Naan whatever. Brown rice is OK but probably not best more than once a day not everday. Pasta is probably best kept once in awhile -- even whole wheat pasta.
Beans are really good in general -- its slightly better to make dry beans yourself then constantly eating canned version.

Right there most people can lose weight just by avoiding those things and maybe allowing themselves to eat meats they were convinced were unhealthy. Any meat is fine as long as it isn't completely marbled with fat, or somehow processed. Some ham won't kill you but I wouldn't have it every morning. The best weight loss-wise is Fish, white meat chicken and turkey.

With seasonings, just don't add more then a tiny bit of sugar (usually in something like balsamic vinegar), and avoid adding excessive amounts of fat. Fat isn't the enemy -- you all heard the story of how "low-fat" stuff is unhealthy. But you shouldn't be using butter really. And you need to keep the oils used for stuff like salads and pan frying meats down. Getting PAM might not be a bad idea (or just a spray bottle for oil). Avocados are loaded with healthy fat...but still fat so keep that in mind.

For Weight loss, avoid cheese except for the low fat kinds (mozzarella, swiss, provolone). Check sugar count for yogurt -- I don't think yogurt is as healthy as they claim...lots of healthy people like it is all. I use some half and half in the morning. If I want milk -- I drink whole milk. But I try to avoid that too. Processed milk (2% blah blah) is loaded with sugar. A little sour cream is here and there is fine.

Meals look like:

Breakfast: Beans and eggs

Snack: Apple

Lunch: Big Salad with beans (Garbonzo and Dark Red Kidney)

Snack: Nuts with string cheese

(work out)

Dinner: Yam, Veggies with Turkey

This will be a little better than just hitting 2-3 meals a day...but do what you have to do to stay on diet. It's also better to not eat during the last part of the day (at least 3 hours before going to sleep).

If you want to lose weight quickly, you get your calories down to about 1300ish (for people 30+, 1500 for younger ones.) You got to make sure to eat at least that much to avoid metabolism drop off.

An hour a day of exercise will make your metabolism rise. Your muscles take calories to maintain themselves, so if you build muscle that will raise your metabolism. The best thing you can do as a fat guy or girl, is pick up strength training x3 times a week. Basically you need someone to show you how to:

Squat
Bench
Deadlift
Press
Pull up

The rest is individualized to the person's goals -- but if you don't do those you are missing the best exercises to build muscle mass. It takes like less than a hour 3 days a week to basically change your life -- and your not to old to do this if your under 70.

After 3 days a week for about 3 weeks they recommend a rest these days for 1 week (so you can basically keep slowly building forever without burn out). The days your aren't doing lifting you can should do a cardio for an hour. Start with elliptical then move up to treadmill. Stuff like rowing and stair master are good between days of running to avoid problems with your knees. Bikes are hard to get your heart rate up but they build unique muscle that will burn fat later. Planks are something that you can learn on youtube very easy that flaten your belly a bit -- working up to doing these 6 days a week 1-2 a day will give your all the definition you need for abs. The rest will be diet.

After you are the weight you want to be you eat more like 1800-2000 calories -- but the same kind of diet. Its good to offset all that emotional overeating you did before by sense of superiority over those that are fat. Particularly all those pricks in high school who where skinny when you were fat -- most of them will be fat now. This a great time to go get back at them.

Edit: Quinoa is your primary rice replacement and a kind of go-to carb...left that out somehow.