Quote:
Originally Posted by Diabolic2442
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I took a long break from the game and recently came back. No one I had on my friends list still plays, how do I trust someone to transfer items for me? Should I first try to join a guild?
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I would be most pleased to serve as accessory to your RMT activities, OP. However, please be advised this offer is subject to the following terms and conditions.
This AGREEMENT constitutes the entirety of the agreement between ORIGINAL POSTER ("OP," "Curious Party," "Cynic,"
"victim,") and MASKEDMELON ("melon," "mm," "little one").
I. TIME
a. OP shall furnish melon, emerald jewel of the west, with an extensive list of DESIRED TRANSFER DATES AND TIMES within ONE (1) DRAGON SPAWN CYCLE (henceforth "spawn cycle," "cycle").
b. melon, most fabulous, shall arbitrarily, but not without minimally negligent consideration and in no case not following careful consultation with OP, OP's representatives or others of melon's choosing and having determined in good faith, the least convenient time for OP and with consideration thereof, select the MOST CONVENIENT DATE AND TIME ("convenient date," "date") least impactful to, but not limited to relevant general melon activities and aberrant indulgences.
II. LOCATION
a. OP expressly relinquishes any and all claim to the PLACE OF ACTIVITY ("place," "location," "spot"). The spot shall be determined and may only be renamed at the sole discretion of melon, superbly fantastic.
III. THE TRANSFER
a. OP shall have ALL RELEVANT CHARACTERS ("characters," "chars," "toons"
*considerable cringe*) PREVIOUSLY DELIVERED AND STATIONED ("located," "parked") at the spot no later than THREE (3) GAME DAYS prior to THE TRANSFER ("transfer," "swap,"
"thinly veiled real market transaction").
b. The transfer shall occur most expeditiously and OP shall conduct zerself in such manner as to not offend the exceptional sensibilities or in anyway trivialize the great value of melon's, blessed among fruits, limited elfplay time.
IV. COMPENSATION
a. OP shall compensate melon for the forgoing services in a manner and value deemed acceptable at the sole discretion of melon, the sweet, as follows.
1. compensation shall be rendered unto melon, most fantastic no later than TWO (2) cycles from the date of this AGREEMENT.
2. compensation shall be comprised of a collection of words total in value no less than 1/10th the FREE COMMONLANDS MARKET VALUE of all goods subject to the transfer. Words are cheap. This is many words. The words shall be suitably varied and arranged in such fashions as to redden melon, the quiet, in a squall of textual headpats and praise.
3. Compensation shall be rendered into melon, most exceptional, via public forum thread indedication thereto.
V. TERMINATION
a. This AGREEMENT may be terminated at any time by melon for any reason at all, should OP be found to be a douche of melon, superbly fabulous, tire of the exchange, melon, supremely fantastic, may terminate the AGREEMENT and OP shall reimburse melon, most wonderful, with a written apology carefully detailing OP's transgressions, inadequacies and any applicable real life shortcomings.