I don't know how deep you have gone into your own personal psychological introspection, or what all types of books/sites you have read, but I can point you in one direction you may not have looked and that's the Myers Briggs Type Indicator test. Check it out.
With some patience, and honesty on your part, I believe you will find many interesting things about yourself. I know I did. also, it's quite helpful in understanding not just yourself, but others you may meet or already know. Once you have some understanding why we do what we do, it becomes easier to not judge others due to their differences in thought processes or personalities from oneself.
Essentially you are going to fall into 1 of 2 categories starting out with the MBTI test. One being Introvert, the other extrovert. These two different personality types really dictate how you think and behave.
From there, the MBTI test will go even deeper, much deeper into many different categories of these two sub-personality types. It will break your personality type down into 1 of 16.
I will provide one link that offers a test, feel free to check it out. It's fairly accurate but a bit simplified, as I have books on the system that go even further into the test results etc., but for starting out this test is good. I believe it's the one I checked out last, just to compare to what I determined from my books and I did get the exact result concerning my personality type.
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Anyway I find psych stuff really intriguing. I have always tried to understand the why behind what I do, what others do, etc.