@MM I very much respect your words. I have a similar sentiment, I think.
Sadly the only confidence I have is in my dreams to get fit and heal and live.
I have no desire to fight over or control the destiny of our species. I'd be very happy if I was a successful member of the herd. Though my current condition has hindered that. I'm not counting myself down and out just yet.
That may intrinsically reduce my value as a person. However it frees me up from feeling guilt or shame for the actions of the many and allows me to explore more subjective esoteric and unknown aspects of life.
If I am to be a casualty in the grand scheme, I know my voice was one of thoughtful exploration. We all die. I just want it to be swift, merciful, and unimpeded.
Until then, handstanding on a surfboard is a very unimportant, unworthy, but fulfilling goal
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