Originally Posted by Daldolma
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I really didn't misunderstand your point. I don't think you're pity-mongering, I don't think you're sexist, and I don't think my response had any misogynist underpinnings. I didn't call you lazy or stupid. If anything, I'm trying to show you that a crippling fear of violent, anonymous rape is irrational. It's also untrue to say that men generally can't and don't understand that fear. 10% of reported rape victims are male, and I don't think it'd be irrational to assume that the incidence of reporting is lower for males than females.
44% of rape victims are under 18 years old; 80% are under 30. Two-thirds of rapes are committed by acquaintances. What does all that mean? Basically, that children and adolescents are the group most vulnerable, and that rape is generally not an "anytime, anywhere" type of crime. Whether or not the creepy guy at the gas station at midnight is a rapist, he's almost definitely not going to rape *you* as you pump your gas. You're far more likely to be raped by a guy you kind-of know from class and ask to drive you home from a party. Most rapists aren't 6'3, 240 pound 25-year olds that corner you in an alley. They're the 70-year old neighbor, the 55-year old priest, the geeky 30-year old math teacher, the kid from class, the guy from the club. They're either going to rape you as a child too young to defend yourself, or as a 20-something year old willingly putting yourself alone in a room or car with them. It's just not realistic to fear being shoved into a corner and raped as you go about your daily business.
So, back to my point -- there's no reason for you to sacrifice any of your independence. You don't need to stop going to Wal-Mart or fueling up at night. You don't need your boyfriend to go with you, either. If it's an overwhelming fear, you can carry a gun and eliminate it. But in reality, it's an irrational fear. Assuming you're no longer a child, if you're going to be raped, the overwhelming statistical likelihood is that it's going to be by someone you know. Which means that as long as you make an effort to not be alone with a guy you don't know very well, you don't have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being hit by a car. Look both ways when you cross the road, don't walk through a bad neighborhood at night, and don't worry.
By the way, I'm serious about the gun thing. A lot of women would be a lot better off if they owned one.
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