I sincerely wish you wouldn't take it so serious paul. This isn't RNF. We are all glad you're trying, but it's important you work on the errors you've made in order to create high quality story for the elf sim forums. Most of us are highly educated people and expect a certain standard of storycraft.
If you want to continue writing, it will be of vital importance that you learn to take critique with gratitude. Or at least not flare up and lash out like a child. If you look at my first post on this thread and take a breath, I hope you can see that each point detracted from the quality of what I had hoped would be a fun p99 adventure tale.
As for personal character attacks on me and my fellow elf forum questers,,, really? Are you so oblivious to ForumQuest that you aren't aware people like Azzar and I are long standing server heroes who have walked the path of our Lord Christ and risen again?
Feel better soon bud.
And try to make some roleplay names
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] or at least create an interweaving set of jokes between your immersion-breaking names and the quests they go on "hermione granger steals the polyjuice potion from the fire goblin wizards" would be a start.