[Joyelle]

If you are uncomfortable where you are then the best advice would be to leave and find a smaller guild, like others have said. On P99 of course, that will come at the price of likely not experiencing the bleeding edge content. Large raid guilds probably all operate in pretty much the same way, and that way isn't always a fit for everybody.

Raiding can be stressful at times, and there is a lot of behind the scenes organization that goes into it. If you show up to a particular mob without having done at least a little homework on what you should do during the encounter you can't expect people to hold your hand during it.

Find out who your class leader is, and ask them during down time. If they can't help you out then they have no business being a class leader. If your guild has recruiters, ask them. If they can't answer your question then they should be able to find someone who can. Again if they can't be bothered to do that they aren't worth their weight. I'm sure your guild has forums. Go there and ask, find out what you should be doing.

You get back what you put in, and if you really are putting that much effort into the guild and it's not being reciprocated at all, then that's probably not the right place for you.

I truly hope you find a home that suits you, after all we are supposed to be playing this game for fun.