Quote:
Originally Posted by xshayla701
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You kind of took what I said to mean something different. I'm not looking for pity for being a girl. The original intent was just to show a side of things you may not think about. But it got turned into a retarded shitting contest with some feminism/misogyny thrown in.
Trust me, I realize that it is more likely to happen with an acquaintance or someone you think you know. I know people it's happened to. Letting the plumber in the house scares me just as much.
I didn't say it was a gender-specific terror. Clearly you missed the whole fucking point. Hell, men have a gender-specific terror too, they can have rape called on them at any point and the girl will probably get him sent to jail for years. The point was - we can't stop living our lives, but we do have to live with the fact that we can become victims in a way that men (generally) cannot and will never understand. It's not about the fact that I am too lazy to pump my gas by myself when I'm tired at night. It's the fact that if I didn't realize my gas was running low when I'm omw to work and I don't have time, I have no choice but to do it after work or risk running out on my way home. "Don't put yourself in stupid situations" - clearly it was stated we avoid those situations for THAT reason, because they are stupid and can put you into harms way. My solution was to get my bf to come with me, make plans to go to the store the next day, not take night classes, etc. I'm not going to stop doing what I need to do because I'm afraid. I'm not going to give up what independence I do have because I'm scared of getting mugged or murdered or raped. But that doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind.
But you kind of made the point I was getting at. No measure that I take - gun, pepper spray, kneeing a guy in his balls - will make the playing field even. A man will almost always be able to overpower a woman. Damn right I'll do some decent damage and put up a fight, but in the end I'll probably end up dead. Rape is different from being mugged. You are powerless, weak, nothing, compared to the attacker. That is what they go for: making you feel powerless makes them feel more powerful. I don't get how you can't see the difference. Not to mention if the guy lets you LIVE, what you have to deal with for the rest of your life and go through to overcome it.
tl;dr version: you will never get it.
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I really didn't misunderstand your point. I don't think you're pity-mongering, I don't think you're sexist, and I don't think my response had any misogynist underpinnings. I didn't call you lazy or stupid. If anything, I'm trying to show you that a crippling fear of violent, anonymous rape is irrational. It's also untrue to say that men generally can't and don't understand that fear. 10% of reported rape victims are male, and I don't think it'd be irrational to assume that the incidence of reporting is lower for males than females.
44% of rape victims are under 18 years old; 80% are under 30. Two-thirds of rapes are committed by acquaintances. What does all that mean? Basically, that children and adolescents are the group most vulnerable, and that rape is generally not an "anytime, anywhere" type of crime. Whether or not the creepy guy at the gas station at midnight is a rapist, he's almost definitely not going to rape *you* as you pump your gas. You're far more likely to be raped by a guy you kind-of know from class and ask to drive you home from a party. Most rapists aren't 6'3, 240 pound 25-year olds that corner you in an alley. They're the 70-year old neighbor, the 55-year old priest, the geeky 30-year old math teacher, the kid from class, the guy from the club. They're either going to rape you as a child too young to defend yourself, or as a 20-something year old willingly putting yourself alone in a room or car with them. It's just not realistic to fear being shoved into a corner and raped as you go about your daily business.
So, back to my point -- there's no reason for you to sacrifice any of your independence. You don't need to stop going to Wal-Mart or fueling up at night. You don't need your boyfriend to go with you, either. If it's an overwhelming fear, you can carry a gun and eliminate it. But in reality, it's an irrational fear. Assuming you're no longer a child, if you're going to be raped, the overwhelming statistical likelihood is that it's going to be by someone you know. Which means that as long as you make an effort to not be alone with a guy you don't know very well, you don't have to worry about being raped anymore than you have to worry about being hit by a car. Look both ways when you cross the road, don't walk through a bad neighborhood at night, and don't worry.
By the way, I'm serious about the gun thing. A lot of women would be a lot better off if they owned one.