I had this issue once as well, and what fixed it was any one of these things:
1. set your eqclient.ini resolution to match your monitor's native resolution
2. Set the icon you launch EQ from to run as an administrator
3. Set the icon you launch eq from to run in compatibility mode, windows XP service pack 2 or 3 should work.
I apologize if anyone has already suggested trying this, or if you've already fixed your problem.
Edit: going back and reading your problems, I'm almost certain this is a resolution issue. I'm not a super tech savvy guy but I was having the exact same problems and doing the above 3 things I suggested fixed it for me. If not, I would set EQ to run in windowed mode always (eqclient.ini) and mess with the resolutions (again, in the eqclient.ini file) until you find one that works. That's what I had to do. Its annoying but it eventually worked when I found the right setting.
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-Aftermath-
Tasslehof - 60 Druid
Barlow - 60 monk
Blueberrii - 60 Mage
Gigglepurr - 60 Shaman
Kids - 60 Rogue
Fornfamnad - 60 Cleric
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