So I was about 19 years old. Having just met this beautiful girl through some friends we decided to go on a date.
We ending up at a restaurant, nothing too fancy. Infront of friends, i'll completely pig out, and get ribs, wings, whatever. However it's a date, I'm keeping it cool and ordering the salmon with rice.
Fast forward a couple of hours, the date is going fantastic. We are clicking on every level, not missing a beat. But then it hits me. My stomach starts to turn, and the pain kicks in. I'm thinking keep it cool, were at the finish line. After about another 20 minutes in, it hits me. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK over and over again in my head, I have to use the restroom I tell her.
I'm sweating, rushing into the restroom BAM, empty. HELL YES i get into that stall and massive bombs start to go off. It's getting wild. someone walks into the restroom, I don't give a fuck at this point. I've held it in for long enough, and it's some of the most absurd sounds you have ever heard with a stink that is unmatched.
I walk out of the stall and as I'm washing my hands I notice a tampon machine on the wall. Instantly I'm like oh shit. I look up into the mirror and notice a stall door open with this woman whom I've been on a date with. She was literally speechless. Only thing just muttered was "uhhh". I left the restroom, found our waitress to pay the tab and left. Not even sure if she went back to the table or left.
Our mutual friends never brought her up again. No way she could not tell that story. It was terrible.
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