[Wenastik]

When I was first married and still getting used to having dogs in the house, I would occasionally forget to pick the trash can up off the floor and put it on the counter. I was also terrible at getting in to work on time, so I had to get up at 3:30 AM just to get to my 5:45 AM job on time.

I wake up and realized that we had lost power the previous night and I was already late or work. I jump out of bed and head into the kitchen to get the coffee started. I slip on something on the floor and see hat the dogs have been in the trash and been sick on the coffee grounds and vomited and crapped all over the place. This is what I slipped and fell into in my sleepy funk.

I rush to clean up the mess all over the floor and take the paper towels into the bathroom to flush them (bad idea). As I'm wiping the last of the "mess" out of my hair, I can hear water running somewhere. I see a stream of water running out of the bathroom. I run into the bathroom to see all of the crap I had just cleaned off the floor flowing out of the toilet onto the bathroom floor. I drop to the floor and start reaching into the toilet to dig wads of crap covered paper towels out of the clogged toilet.

I get the toilet cleared, the floor bleached and mopped clean, the kitchen floor bleached and mopped clean and some coffee in me to just before I leave for work.

I get to work, get to my spot and receive my passdown from the previous shift, when one of the guys starts looking at his shoes and sniffing. He turns to me and asks, "Do you smell dog sh!t?" and that's when I realize, I forgot to take a shower before work.