To get EQEMU in general running, read this.
http://www.eqemulator.net/wiki/wikka...akka=PlayGuide
(Titanium is recommended for 1999)
To get Project 1999 running, read this.
http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?t=40
As for your wife, just say "It's only an Emulator". That has worked with me (so far).