A vision of the Future has come to me...
We stand upon a dark brink of Forumquesting. Whether the Forums are cast into the abyss, or if we may illuminate the path across the Darkness is up to us. I bring you this message of Radiance from the Retarded God.
In one hand, wield the Key of F5;
In the other the Blazing Flame of Shitpost.
These are the Mystic Tools of the SoRP. Bear them with great responsibility and respect; without our Sacred Charge, the Consciousness of the Forum will diminish and lose the edgy Self-Awareness and Metahumor which is a guiding Light in the days of Degeneracy.
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Blow upon your wood in the Darkness
Let not the Balrogs of Fear and Seriousity take you from the path of Absolute Retardation
You will know them by their names
Their Delusional Avatars
and their Witless, Un-Edgy, Often Serious Posts about Elf-Sim raiding.
All ye bear witness and tremble
For the Retarded God rules these Lands.
These words flow from the mouth of my Great Mystic and Yogic Caliph, the Dread Catman Captnamazing. In his human-feline pride and delusion he once sought Absolute Dominion over the SoRP; I guided his hands once more to accept his path as the Voice, and to take his place guiding the Acolytes who eagerly awaited him, though they knew it not. For when the castle is built, should one throw it down in a Retarded Fit, or rather Shitpost his way to Greatness?