1. This depends on level, but Snare -> Fear -> DoT is the goal. Moving NPCs only take 2/3rds of DoT damage when moving, however they take full damage when fleeing or feared. So you don't want to DoT it beyond your snare before you fear them.
The amount and types of DoTs you use depend on the mob/camp. Some mobs you can do a snare, fire DoT and pet attack and it dies around snare ending. Others you may need more. Etc. it is something you need to play around with.
2. Weapons only help your pet to make them dual wield (24 or 29 pet will dual wield when given two 1-handed weapons). OR they help if they increase pet damage. The only way a weapon will increase pet damage is your pets innate melee damage is < 2*Weapon Damage.
Example:
Pet max hit - 16
Giving your pet a weapon with 1-8 Damage on it, he will continue hitting for up to 16.
Giving your pet a weapon with more than 8 damage, let's say a 30 damage 2hb like Baton of Faith... This will increase your pets max hit to 60.
3. At level 20. Charming is always better exp than fear kiting or root rotting. Especially once you get a circlet of shadow to instantly break charm.
4. Looks like you have everything covered. I'm a fan of Shrunken Goblin Skull Earring and Allure of Death clicky book (Sol Ro Quest). They serve as junk buffs (mainly the earring) and inventory clickable instant casts usable in both outdoor/indoor zones (unlike Jboots) and the clicky doesn't break charm or kill your pet (like CoS does). This clicky allows you to avoid global cool down on recast of spells.
5. Buy your spells with another character or travel back to Kunark. I just ported my Druid around and drop transferred as my Necro leveled. All Druid Vendors at Druid rings sell to anyone. So WC/Lavastorm/Butcher for example sell to anyone. After level 34 with skeleton illusion (Call of Bones) you can vendor more places.
In Velious you can easily faction to sell and bank in the Velious city of your choosing.
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