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Now it's to the point where unless Game of Thrones is on (or some other show we watch together) I just play EQ without even thinking about her. And likewise she just watches terrible terrible reality TV shows (with headphones, thank god) without worrying about me. So I think talking to your GF is an excellent idea, and hopefully it helps you two get to the kind of relationship my wife and I have.
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So unless GoT is on, you ignore your wife? I'm all for interdependency but, that's not the kind of relationship I want personally.
To the OP: I'm in medical school now and have a wife and 3 kids (ages 5, 3, and 1) and we're trying for a 4th. For me it's about "foreground and background." My family is my dream and ambition so they're in the foreground and get all of my attention. When things are winding down with the family, then I make time for my gaming hobby.
My wife used to abhor gaming. Like she'd get visibly upset if she even saw me playing a game. But a lot of that attitude comes from a lack of understanding rather than codependency. And I'm glad I didn't give her the boot because she has qualities I think no one else on earth has. If she came to me tomorrow and asked sincerely that I stop playing, I'd smash my computer to bits with a sledgehammer.
As others have said, communication is key and some times the best way to communicate is through action. My wife is a triathlete but when we started having kids she pretty much stopped 100%. So I started waking up at 5:30am with the kids so she could run 3 times a week (this was my idea - I pretty much had to dress her and push her out the door). I also went online and signed her up for a sprint triathlon (mini-triathlon). We a got up early and the kids and I played cheer-leaders while my wife competed. I made it 100% about her and her hobby. Slowly she started realizing how important hobbies can be to de-stress and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I can game now almost every night if I want to with no wife-faction hit. Recently I've felt like we're not really spending a lot of quality time together (I game in my office and the TV she watches TV in the other room). So I straight hulked out one night and moved the couch into my office. She fussed at first (she's ocd when it comes to having the house a certain way) but when I started asking her all of these questions about Ally McBeal she really started enjoying it. I freaking hate Ally McBeal... But my wife loves it...so I'm trying to get into it.
Just like my wife used to hate gaming, but I love it, so maybe one day she'll start asking me more about it
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