Well some of these problems are you, and some of them are how p99 is.
Clerics aren't a necessity in most groups, especially xp groups, because players are clever enough to figure out how to make groups work without a cleric healer. At low levels, clerics heals aren't much (or any) better than dru/sham, but dru/sham bring more to the table too. At mid levels, CH is hard to use well and dru/sham still bring more to the table. At high levels, lots of people avoid full groups. Stuff like that.
But there are things you can do to minimize these issues, mainly filling up a friends list and/or joining a big guild so that you always have people who are willing to take you along for xp even if they don't "need" a cleric. They'll probably also give you dibs on gems, trade you a stack of dots every now and then, etc.
If people are pulling when you're oom, let people die and then explain simply, calmly, that you can't heal if you don't have mana.
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