Shamans have the same problems healing that druids do as far as there heals never really heal much hps at a time, but because shamans get slow theyre able to heal most grp situations if done right, just limits the amount of buffs there able to put on grp members efficiently
edit: Druids on eq are NOTHING like druids on WoW, Ive played both. From everything you have stated I'd say shaman is the best fit for you, There is no grp restrictions based off faction, just limits the places you can bind and buy your spells at, if your GF is gonna be DE id recommend being a evil race aswell that way you dont have to invis into evil towns to bind her...
Also keep in mind that hybrids have a xp penalty, also Ogres and trolls have a xp penalty,
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