I do projector testing for work. Usually it is the high end stuff for flight simulators, but now and again we do home theater testing for low cost solutions....
That said, I would recommend
http://www.visualapex.com/ for any visual home theater needs. Especially the Epson 8350. you get about 2000 - 2500 hours out of the lamps. for $2k you can get the projector with a tension screen that is linked to the projector. That way it rolls itself down when you turn on the projector and stows itself when it is off. I think the package deal also comes with a universal IR remote and repeater in case you want to hide everything behind a wall...
You could wait for a home LED light source projector, but that is a ways off yet
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If you have any specific questions - brightness - contrast - throw ratio - please let me know.