I also took the time to point out everyone of your socially crippling virginized flaws.
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I know eating in the dining room and going outside is a hard thing for you to do, but I understand. I understand that the moles, rubella, and pock marks make it very hard to talk to girls thus the need for make up are necessary to secure yourself a mate for several moments of awkward copulation. I understand that showering and laundry are foreign to you and that a shirt makes a far better napkin cause it's larger and more absorbent. I understand that sleep schedules are hard for you to do while playing online games 24/7 and that the Zoloft only slightly curbs your sociopathic depression enough to stop yourself from drinking the fingernail polish remover due to not having the energy to ask mom to buy the kind with acetone in it.
But I'm rootin' for ya boy