I wouldn't eat the EXP penalty ever if I were you. When the monster is fleeing and almost dead, reclaim your pet, cast a new one, then nuke the monster dead. You'll get twice the EXP and spend only a little more mana. I've done this at low levels with great success.
Stat-wise, I'd go all INT, then STR only if you can't put more points into INT. If you don't want to go overweight, don't loot heavy items, and destroy your copper and silver when they pile up. You can make a lot of money just selling research components and gems, which start dropping from monsters around level 15+.
For dungeon soloing, you might have more success with the earth pet because of its root; if a running monster gets a bunch of social aggro, you're fucked.
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