yea dunno what to do about lack of services... pick a nice destination and hitch hike or craigslist your way there.
perhaps start a blog and a kickstarter campaign and use this internet to help yourself. lots of people would be willing to help, its just a matter of making the need known.
the pill doesnt make things better. it lets you prioritize the pain and removes the inability to act because of the oppressing feelings. it is not a euphoriant or artificial high. it simply puts your brain more on a steady wavelength instead of dipping and staying so low. i think Unipolar vs Bipolar is the new realization.
So final advice: Do like the guy who started with a paperclip and ended up with a house.... be honest like you are, state your desires and problems, and spread the word online... start a blog and a get donations, and post updates. use craigslist and find "free" stuff you can sell. thats what i would do to start from scratch (which isnt really scratch, you dont need to invent a wheel... just realize the tools you have and use them)
no one deserves to have this feeling, no one deserves anything. but you can, and it is what it is. dont overthink it anymore, the pills help that as well.
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