I appreciate the kind words and notions of hope. I'm just not convinced any pill or substance is going to make a difference when it comes down to being evicted. I'm not joking when I tell you there is no one to turn to. I don't even know how to contact my own mother at this point and she's probably well into her 70's by now if not passed on.
If a pill was going to get me a job that would be awesome, but in the real world it doesn't work that way. Poverty is real. And that is basically what I was born into regardless of all the hope and positivity I did indeed once upon a time have in order to obtain what I have even though it is so little.
I understand life sucks regardless of material possessions and quality of living for a lot of people. Those type of people who feel hopeless and depressed while living comfortably with full time jobs and a roof over their head are more than likely the ones who truly need some type of pill or therapy.
When one is uneducated and inexperienced with no where to turn, I just don't see the point in living on the streets while carrying some type of misguided hope and positivity thinking all the time, "It could be worse." Sure, I could be armless and legless. Even with the physical ability to work and mental work ethic, it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.
Life doesn't have too much meaning anyway. The species will continue on in existence for as long as the planet allows. Positivity and happiness is reserved for those privileged enough to experience it. It's really a misguided delusion for someone in such a situation as myself to have.
I could be the happiest person on the planet with all the hope in the world, yet no one will call for an interview. No job that can provide a manageable living will come my way. For it hasn't yet. There's still a little time.
I am at peace with this all now. I'm sure death really isn't the end. I doubt it's just one life. One life that we can experience and remember at a time sure.
Maybe there's another planet out there where people actually care to help each other. Actually value every living thing as something special and worthy of having around. Sometimes I take comfort in others thoughts of this life is actually hell. Maybe it is. Specially if those in such decent living conditions and situations find it just as hopeless and meaningless.
That linked you tube video was funny. A wealthy comedian talking about depression. All he needed was some pills and that's good that he found it. Lets take away his money and home and see what good his pills do then.
Lets drop the privileged kids off in some random city with nothing but their positive outlooks and see where that gets them. I bet most wouldn't even make it through the first night of being homeless without breaking down and trying to call their families for help. We all need someone and that's what it comes down to.
It's all comforting now. Not much for me to miss and no one to miss me. I can be thankful for that.
I agree with smitez too. It is a overpopulated world and wouldn't I be the selfish one if I decided to stick around it when there's nothing worthy to stick around for.
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