Quote:
Originally Posted by Autotune
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There are plenty of other, more effective and certain, ways to kill yourself though. Guessing you are choosing a gun because you're actually afraid to follow through with suicide.
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Considering I am too stupid to even join the military, according to them, I find myself confused by the afraid statement.
I imagine if I climbed a high building and decided to jump off, yes, I'd probably back off and think of something else. I honestly don't even have the motivation to exercise anymore much less go out of my way looking for something really high to jump off of.
The gun is just there as now are the bullets. All it would really take is a twitch of the finger once I pull back the hair trigger. So, in my opinion, that's the most surefire way in regards to "too afraid to follow through." Just get really drunk, wait till I'm incredibly sleepy, and follow through without hesitation as it wouldn't take much energy or thought.
Much more afraid of living on the streets and suffering through hunger pains and the elements effecting me while developing bacterial disturbances throughout my body as I'd struggle to find a place to bathe on the streets. Now that's scary. Or even being constantly mugged, harassed, and beaten by people I'd run into on the streets is far more something to be afraid of. Even going to jail to be shanked, cut, and stabbed while probably living through it as prison doctors patch me up is much more terrifying.
But ultimately, death is something to be naturally afraid of thus waiting these next 6 months holding out for some hope that someone would respond to my resumes and applications. I'm afraid to be born again into some shitty 3rd world country where I grow up abused by parents or strangers, however; at least I wouldn't remember my past life and perhaps it would be some manifestation of acceptance as others that are worse off seem to have the ability to endure it.
Continuing to live on in the homeless life is something much greater to fear. That's why I'd rather blow my brains out.
Crying everyday is something I don't care to continue to do anyway. Not many spoiled and rich privileged kids, that most of you all probably are, would understand that type of stress anyway. If anything be thankful that you all were born into families that care and can support you. I wasn't. And with everything that I did earn on my own including this shitty apartment, fate caused the business I worked for to go into the hole and forced to shut down. Such a shame.