[Gaikan]

So I joined EQ shortly after the release of Velious, after much prodding from a friend of mine. He played a ranger and was early 30ish lvl when I created my first toon. I first created a human monk and that didn't last long since they are so GD blind (should be race specifically named Blind Ass Human Monk). Before I had abandoned the monk I was bitten by the EQ bug and was enthralled with the game.

My re-roll that I intended to be absolutely committed to was an Ogre Warrior. Of course I discussed this with my friend first. Initially I really liked the look of the Barbarian but, again, I was coerced into creating an ogre since they have much higher HP and stun immunity. So I ventured off into the world of Norrath and began my conquest to be the biggest baddest mo. fu. of a warrior I could be. I even ended up playing like a crack addict and eventually caught up in level with my friend before he reached 60. Getting that ugly, fat, tall, wide ogre to 60 was actually very much fun. But you could almost just look at that poor bastard and smell him he was so ugly.

In my blind fury of the race to catch my friend in level I ended up being broke all the time. Passing over dungeon running, I was almost always lacking in gear and times were hard. But that's what made it such a challenge. Not even having the cash for shrink potions or any gear with shrink made joining a group interesting as some times I'd be asked to go somewhere I'd not been before and when I finally got there for the first time I realized my fat ugly ass couldn't fit through the corridors and hallways. Frustration none the less sat in; and I decided what I needed was an item to fix this.

So being a dutiful tank for my friend any time he needed a tank. He was rather un-happy to hear that I'd be going on hiatus for approx. 3 weeks to farm the wood elf helm. I explained to him my only salvation for this fat, ugly, stinky, shittyness they call ogre tanking was to kill frogs till my eyes bleed (ykesha expansion). He finally agreed that it would help and he would even drop in and help from time to time. I was delighted at this news since I had no heals, no pots, no clicky gear, or anything to ease the pain of soloing as a warrior.

So I logged out and mentally prepared my self for what I expected to be quite an adventure. Again I was about to head somewhere I'd never gone. I went to allakhazams and did my research. I printed out maps and made notes. And by the time I logged in to start this trek I was fully prepared! At least that's what I thought.

So as I began to load up to the character selection screen, after entering my user name and password, I noticed something strange. My first thought was that I had created an oddly similar user name and password as someone else and had mistakenly typed it in error. So I quickly logged out and re-loaded the game just to be safe. Upon re-entry I carefully typed my user and pwd again making sure I made no miss-clicks this time. When I finally loaded up the screen for character selection again my heart fluttered. Then it began to pound in my chest. I blinked, things got kinda white and my skin felt prickly like when your feet fall asleep. I even started sweating, palms clammy and cold with my hands shaking I hit enter and began to load into the world.

This was the longest load into the world! It seemed like it took 15 minutes to load. With my heart racing and adrenaline pumping, my tunnel vision focused on a the most ugly ogre even I had ever seen. And I had to stare at my ogres ugly fat ass for months prior! But what my eyes were looking at I could not, at first, comprehend. He was pink...

I moved and hoped it was a glitch. I unequipped my gear hoping it was a glitch. I went to buy some cheap armor, cloth even .. anything to equip hoping it was a glitch. But alas there was another problem. I could NOT buy anything. Apparently even my platinum had disappeared.

I was close to a bank so I ran in and checked. My bank was empty too. Not just the platinum I had on the ogre! I had none on the ogre. I had none in the bank. I had my inventory cleared out as well.

At this point my shirt was clinging to my chest from the sweat. And my mind was finally realizing that I had nothing I could do except play this ugly thing to try and earn enough cash to dye my armor back.

Two days go by and I finally hear from my friend who I had been trying to get a hold of and share the horrible news of what had happened. When I answer the call I immediately hear laughter. Puzzled I asked what he was doing. Not answering my question he asks if I had played much recently; that he had been busy and couldn't log on but he had hoped my trek for my illusion item had began well. Laughter in his voice the whole time in those first few sentences, I started to put two and two together!

After some of my screaming and his laughing uncontrollably he explained all is well and it was nothing more than a joke. He had kept it all safe while I had my heart attack. Looking back we still laugh about the ugly pink stinky ogre. But at the time it defiantly was not what I could call even slightly humorous.

I hope you guys enjoy this true EQ story.