i have been having this same problem for some months. it progressively got worse until now neither of my two brothers, my girlfriend or myself can get to anything other than a blank server screen on my home T1 internet connection. IF we luckily can get to our character screens, it crashes loading in, or has characters missing, or is asking for the spell update. if we finally do get into the game, we will surely zone-crash and have to start all over.
it seems to work fine at my girlfriends house DSL, we can all connect fine and play without any problems.
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