You have to create reasons to live for yourself. Everybody does. Find a big idea, a philosophy, a big goal, a hope, or anything else to justify moving forward.
If you don't kill yourself, I guarantee you'll look back on this time and thank everything that you didn't do it. When you have a significant other, or when you have a child, or when you belong to a group of peers or feel connected to something real and meaningful, you'll realize that it is worth living.
Especially killing yourself for totally material and temporary reasons is no reason to die. All things are impermanent. You will eventually be dead-- that is the contract you entered into. Don't rush to fulfill your end of the bargain because of temporal despair. I'm not going to get into every reason why existence is a wholly magnificent and awe-inspiring thing, but know that in the grand scheme of all-encompassing, unconditional reality, you are lucky. You will be lucky in your life. And when you die, that'll be lucky, too.
I don't care if you're trolling or not, although I'm almost certain that you are in fact trolling. I've dealt with more friends and family committing suicide than I'd have cared to. Don't take things for granted. Things could always be worse-- and to be sure, people around the world have it much, much worse than you if your only real concerns are material.
|