Originally Posted by Hasbinfat
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The DDoS hit me while I was saving a group of noobs from a deadly train at CE in Mistmoore. I watched as the noobs were slaughtered by dark elf bitches but I could do nothing because of the lag. In my grief I raised my hands up and prayed to God for forgiveness. My Mom heard my desperate cries and walked down into my basement to ask what happened, and I asked her for a jar of nutella and some croissants.
Just then, the TMO DDoS virus struck my hard drive like a 1967 Chevy Malibu with a V6 8 cylinder engine with 2400 cubic feet of torque. The virus opened my CD rom drive, which knocked into an empty 2 liter bottle of diet dr. pepper. The bottle tipped over on its side and rolled across the room to where my mom was walking to get my food. She stepped on the bottle, which rolled, and she lost her balance and stumbled thrashing about my basement.
I watched in stunned silence as my CD rom drive kept opening and closing and a laughing skull popped up on my screen. It navigated to my banking website, where it withdrew all my money and donated it to p99. My Mom rolled all the way across the basement and slammed into the box of circuit breakers, which exploded in a flurry of bright flashes like those fireworks that go BOOM and then THPTHPTHPTHPTHP.
My basement was in flames and all my money was gone so I decided it was time to go. I rolled out of bed and onto my hoveround-- I jammed the key into the ignition as the flames lapped all around me. "Start you piece of shit!", I yelled dramatically as the engine turned. Just when I thought I was going to cook, the engine started and I drove toward the stairs, fishtailing around burning piles of pizza boxes and soda bottles. I kicked my hoveround into gear and drove up the stairs as a pillar of flames erupted behind me, engulfing everything and spreading into the rest of the house.
I skidded across the kitchen and reached my arm out, barely managing to grab the nutella as I sped out the door into the entryway. Then, to my horror, I watched as the ground beneath me and the front door collapsed, revealing the burning basement below. Tears filled my eyes as I looked down and watched as my monitor flickered off and Everquest disappeared from the screen. "I'll come back for you. I promise" I whispered as I gunned my engine and raced toward the fiery chasm. I hurled forward at top speed and, just as my wheels were leaving the precipice, the flames reached my stockpile of canned cheese-whiz, which exploded and propelled me and my hoveround out the front door and onto the street.
I hit the ground and spun a couple times before drifting to a stop. As I sat there trying to catch my breath while also eating nutella, I realized what I needed to do-- I had to find a new computer on which to play Project 1999. I drove down the street toward the sunset, but just before I went over the horizon, I stopped and did a perfect 180' stationary turn in my hoveround. A worried look appeared on my face as I looked into the camera.
"Before all this happened I prayed to God for forgiveness. I did this because I was the one who trained those noobs at MM CE. And now they're all dead and I think one of them was bound in Firionia Vie". I turned my head and looked down the street toward Fry's Electronics. "Shit's classic", I said as I revved my engine, set a course for Fry's, and peeled out into the night, leaving only the smoldering wreckage of a home and an empty nutella jar in my wake.
Sry, in-game character name is Hasbinbad
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