Your perfect morning routine?
 

https://i.imgur.com/ylGjJXz.png

Also how true is it that brushing your teeth soon after coffee is harmful to tooth enamel? Maybe I should change that around, but I got into this habit before work and idk.

wake up
grab a brush and put a little makeup
hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
why'd you leave the keys upon the table
here you go create another fable (you wanted to)

I drink a glass full of polyethylene glycol.

Then I play eq a bit.
Give cat medicine.
Eat breakfast with tea.
Lay down.
Mebbe if I feel good ill play a bit more EQ.
Make more tea.
Do some house work.

Then it's already lunch time!

4am - wake up

5am - furiously masturbate

5:03am - post-nut power nap

5:15am - Raw kale and blood soup for breakfast

5:30am - kill the neighbor's cat

6am - shower

6:01am - round 2, furiously masturbate

6:04am - stomp cum down the drain

6:36am - finish getting cum down the drain

6:37am - power shit

6:38am - get out of the shower

6:40am - throw dishes against wall to wake up neighbor in next apartment

6:59am - get dressed for work

7:01am - shitpost on P99 forums

8:34am - leave the house for the office, tearing ass all the way down the stairs

Wake up
Turn off alarm
Turn on TV
Put on glasses
Browse Facebook and other social media for a few minutes
Snuggle cat if she's still there
Get out of bed
Take blood pressure pill and vitamins
Eat
Shower
Brush teeth in shower
Get dressed
Drive to work

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/951957_460s.jpg

The Twilight Zone-tier realization of having too much free time means having a routine is a luxury that you can never have. You can attempt to do it but once you realize you do not have to anymore it all falls apart. Things start to blend together for you, even franchises.
So around Christmas I got a new sexdoll. EverQuest was pretty on my radar at the time and when I seen it on eBay I knew that I had to do something about it.

This is Elia, she was a librarian in Felwithe and I was just a human wizard of the 15th moon season equinox solstice looking for some scrolls of assblasting for my 16th season moon winter harvesting festivaling.
yaddayaddayadda i learned that not all elves are gifted in magic and she was a borderline muggle. I got bored AND I ran out of ideas for this post after 'assblasting' but the boredness came first just for the record. The ending part of this was how half elves are made since they cant use intellect based spells and their starting wisdom is low. I am waiting for Hanidoll on ebay to restock their pregnant doll stock to prep up part2 of this routine story, one that got my original 2 accounts banned when someone seen that my wife only moves every 27 minutes or so

jesus christ, people.

WTF is that eldritch horror?

Are you the guy who ordered a sex doll with the custom face of Firiona Vie? He posted pics here awhile back and got immediately laughed off the forum

If I ordered a sex doll, I'd have to get one that looks like Steve Harvey.

Then I could lie and laugh it off to everyone as a joke.

But then secretly at night mustache ride my way into heaven.