How did I not know this existed
 

http://shipadick.com/

"Send a giant cardboard dick to anyone!"

This may just be the greatest thing since P99

I prefer bags of dicks or dicks-in-boxes. Call me old-fashioned.

Plus, I strongly dislike touching anything cardboard. It's almost as bad as chewing tinfoil or nails on a chalkboard.

http://dicksbymail.com/

"Ever wonder what gummy dicks look like when they hit hot girls butts in slow motion?"

I never did... but now that they mention it...!