An Ode to a Friend
 

Halflings. Bah. Ugly creatures if you ask me. Nothing but massive foreheads with legs. Fat, pie filled foreheads with more hair on their feet than the top of their skulls.

They smell like fruit too. Who in the world would want to smell like fruit? I mean; I wonder what a wolf tastes if they manage to snack on one of these. They’d probably turn their nose up at it the moment they broke the surface.

And those feet! Massive foot falls expected but never heard. This must be magic of some sort; inconclusive. Druids are bad enough to be frolicking in the forest; Halflings do it regardless of their profession. I once saw a cleric using pine cones as back scratchers. Odd little folk they are.

And the thieving! Cripes! Check your pockets if you’re around a Halfling. I once visited Rivendale to restock provisions; and could have sworn I went in with pants – I sure as hell didn’t leave with them.

There was one in particular that was worse than anyone. Twip Took was his name. ‘Have a little Halfling in ya? Want some?’ The nerve of that measly little man. Running around, praising nature and then turning around charming Tunare’s beasts and sicing them on each other for ‘the luls’. Twip was a boaster. The type of fella that said he’d used a rattlesnake as a condom. Or that he bathed in elven wine simply to attract the ladies.

A silly one this was. He’d play ‘russian roulette porting’ where you’d tell him where you wanted to go and you may or may not end up getting there. He once ported a troll to Toxxula and told him it was Feerrot! Ballsy! He nearly got eaten after that one.

This little jerk played pranks with the best of em. I once saw him tie the tail of a specter to the foot of a sand giant. Man were they angry. He beat Ambassador D’Vinn in a game of craps and cheated openly.

This little bastard was the type of guy you wouldn’t mind seeing being dragged behind the rear end of a griffin as a poop catcher. The type of fella you wouldn’t piss on if he was on fire.

And although this little burglar of turds is some one I’d rather kick than talk to. I’m going to miss him. He was a friend.

Enjoy your ‘real life stuff’ you’re leaving EQ for – you smelly little Halfling. You will be missed.

tl;dr individual was banned for 3rd party software use.

No he wasn’t banned. Yes he was a friend. Yes he did leave for real life reasons. Including a new job and had just moved.

Believe it or not; people actually do make friends in a video game.

Prick.

I lost it.

Loved it!!! What a great farewell to your friend :)

Good story. Not wild about the opinion of the poster, but what can I say, haters gonna hate.

Team Halfling 4 life.

Did < Grey Cloaks > PM the OP yet?

Swish. A man after my own heart.

But uh; The OP is the Grey Cloaks. and I say is being singular - because I can't find anyone who wants to join.

This is so beautiful.