I gotta quit EQ again.
 

It just hurts to try and play this game.

Even on quarm. Even on EZ server. Don't have the life in me anymore.

I'm fucking sad pepes. My best memories in life where in EQ. How dumb is that? Liek for reals. Not that I didn't have good memories outside of EQ, I had a few good memories, butt it's all regretful shit in the end anyway. I'm sure my Ex's are like fuck this person. And I didn't really do anything good for the world.

So how fucking shit is that. That EQ was the best I could do, and that is gone now too.

Stop lying. You're not going anywhere. Ever.

You should donate your time with the elderly and poor/homeless to gain perspective on your existence and life contributions.

Can i have all your plat

There are other worlds to explore.

There is always Goldshire ERP

I will be sorry to see you leave. But you are doing the right thing. Bless you.

if this is a serious post then the sooner you leave this shit hole the better

just because time was lost here doesn't mean that can't change today

there are books out there regarding ending bad habits, I'd check one out and start there

Sorry to hear that, mate. EQ was cool, but there is life beyond.

Go to church, find a Bible study. Get perspective.

This one's for you Mag -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kve9w5LdxZY

You found your egg. Come back to the real world.

Well. I don't want to be overly dramatic butt EQ was one of my last habits that got me out of bed at all. I actually stretched and exercised and ate food so I could sporadically spend EQ time soloing between long afks.

This Christmas was really nice with family and physically rough tho. And I'm realizing that while EQ is my only escape from a completely crippled body it's not fun anymore. It's just something I am doing because I don't have the capacity to do anything more. And it's too painful emotionally to keep coming back to a game that takes everything.

Honestly I just want to go to hospice or get pain meds and start the process of dying now.

Those who say I'll be back. You're probably right. I'll probably reroll a necromancer or something and be a completely timid shut in avoiding any challenge or contact butt just logging in for something to try to do.

I have been hitting the audio books with my eyes shut curled when I can. When I can't EQ.

Yeah it's a cry for help. Butt I don't want or need any. My therapist and I have already been discussing an exit plan with the resources available for me through the VA.

Just. It fucking sucks. I wanted to be able to play this game and make friends. The biggest issue with that is that I can't play long enough continously to be friends and help ppl. That said I had a ton of nice and friendly interactions with ppl. Got to buff ppl with low lvl cleric buffs. Butt that corpse in guk. It's going to rott. With lvl 34 spells and jboots. I can't recover it. It's too much work solo. It's too emotionally painful. It's my reminder that I
am not even good enough to play EQ on quarm in 2023. That is my sign to quit.