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WTS Atheist Survival kit
Kit includes the following,
Face mask Vaccine Crucifix Rosemary Beads Bible Quran Torah Wooden Stake Gun (with silver bullets) CO2 Detector Humanoid Statue Fine art painting Large Hadron Collider Space rocket Fireworks Wedding ring Divorce papers Karaoke Machine Speed limiter DEF fluid Emissions detector Window bars Electric car (max speed 35 MPH, max range 30 miles, 48 hours recharging) Rainbow flag Transgender flag Feminist flag Doctorate degree in women's studies/theology/etc (tell everybody you're a doctor!) Sports clothing with number on back Imagine.mp3 by John Lennon Voting form Health and Safety manual Safety helmet High vis jacket Life insurance US Constitution Medical insurance Car insurance Pet insurance Travel insurance Up-to-date passport Up-to-date driving license Induction cooktop Venetian blinds Quorn burger Fat transgender Barbie doll (limited special edition dark skinned version) "Smart" phone with regular security updates Lightsabre (plastic, made in china) Burqa Kippah Napolen's hat (you will be a head turner wearing it) Intel Celeron CPU (very efficient) USB stick pre-loaded with latest Wikipedia data (USB stick is USB v3.3.2.4.5.11.2.11.56) Medical testing kit (AIDS, diabetes, covid, etc) Innacurate weight scales Hand disinfectant (87.675% chance of killing 99.999% of all known germs) Sex robot (with regular security updates) Pr0n collection (grannies, homo, BBC, etc) Coat hanger (to abort babies with) Nuclear weapon (in a rocket obviously) Dollars Bitcoins Calvin Klein underwear Stella Mccartney dress (worth $50,000) Gucci handbag (Worth $20,000) 500,000 Reddit karma 2 billion YouTube views 400 million Instagram followers Silicon implants Botox injections Tattoo kit Fire alarm (batteries not included) Car seatbelt Bottle of Viagra Olivia Rodrigo CD (special limited edition version) Barbie 2023 movie DVD (special limited edition version) Bottle of Bud Lite Dictionary A copy of The Guardian newspaper A copy of the Daily Mail newspaper Violin Box of tissues Holocaust documentary on DVD (with commentary from people who were actually there) Netflix subscription A dinner date with George and Amal Clooney Photograph of Ellen Photograph of Oprah Lottery ticket Avengers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 DVD movie collection (all limited special edition versions) Onesie Unicorn plush toy High IQ score card Dildo Vibrator Buttplug Onlyfans subscription (your choice of slut) Bottle of milk (skimmed) Bottle of pop (with artifical sweetner) Loaf of brown bread (no crust) Anti-virus software Anti-malware software Tutorial on AFK gaming Aimbot hacks Bill Burr DVD Dave Chapelle DVD Chris Rock DVD Finger print scanner Subscription to Science Monthly Fire extinguisher Plot of land on mars (worth $500,000,000) Walking stick Zimmer frame Wheel chair Coffin |
Price for kit is 2 x Mana Stone and 1 x Earth Staff MQ.
Don't let this opportunity slip through your hands. Buy now before it's too late! |
If you buy within the next 48 hours I will throw in a free yoga mat.
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this is quite the enticing package for such a low low price
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I'm getting lots of questions regarding the sports clothing included in the kit.
It's a limited edition oversized black sports jersey with a big fluorescent green number 1 on the back. The jersey has also got yellow vertical pin stripes. It's made in the Kingdom of China so it's very high quality. Special announcement: If you buy the kit within the next 24 hours I will throw in a Harry Potter book free of charge (aswell as the yoga mat). |
Ask and ye shall receive.
Kit now includes Minecraft v4.65.2.1.5.6 (32GB of RAM and permanent 1GB internet connection required) |
God you are an angry little man.
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More amazing freebies if you order the Atheist Survival Kit now!
Game of Thrones Book AND DVD. Ticket to "see" Taylor Swift in concert. Breast cancer screening appointment. Cervical smear test. One Direction CD (very limited edition) Carton of Soy Milk for your decaff coffee. Political campaign poster. A non-binary identity. Solar Eclipse Glasses. Hebrew calendar. 1:1 model replica of the Wailing Wall delivered to your front door (assembly required). 100 SPF Sunscreen. Subscription to the Disney Channel. Miley Cyrus CD (comes with ear muffs). Plastic Christmas tree. Tracking Chip (instructions included). Brokeback Mountain DVD. This offer won't last. Get it while you can! |
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I forgot to mention the kit also includes a tombstone with your name engraved on it and the letters "RIP" (ROT IN PEACE).
It's very stylish and trendy in atheist society to rot in peace. Don't delay, order today! |
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