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I wonder if what you talk about people acting in their own interest is a function of middle-aged adult dating. It's a vastly different situation. The best women are mostly long since married. You have a lot of sluts who realize their biological clock is ticking, some divorcees who were too intolerable for anyone to stay married to, and a smattering of divorcees who got out of bad relationships. Maybe the rare widow due to things like traffic crashes, etc. Many of them will have kids of their own, and all of them have established lives and priorities beyond, well, you. Same for you for that matter, you have your own life and household and anyone you get together with has to fit into it; you aren't building a life together in the manner of young adults just starting out. Some of what I see you post, now and then, seems very odd to me but I try to remind myself you're living in a situaton I've never experienced myself and frankly don't have a ton of idea how to deal with if I had to. Danth |
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Oh no if anything it was far more common when I was younger I try to differentiate between “back up” and friendzone. Friendzone can be someone who likes you but that you have zero romantic attraction towards. With a “back up”, there is at least the possibility of some attraction. That’s the difference in those terms when I use them. A back up is someone you friendzoned until maybe you are tired of being single or on a rebound In order to have romantic partners and backups you have to generally socialize with a decent amount of people near to your age on a regular basis. Usually within the first few minutes-hours of socializing with someone you can have an idea if you could sleep with that person, based on your personal standards and their looks/personality. I’m assuming women are the same way in how they think. So let’s say you know 10 different single women. Some are friends, some are co-workers let’s say. Of those 10, you could hook up with maybe 3 of those, the rest you are just not attracted to for whatever reason (maybe they’re too out of shape, personality too annoying, whatever). Whether you are conscious of it or not, those 3 you could sleep with you arrange into a hierarchy in your mind. The one you are most attracted to/compatible with, and then the next 2 in line. This ranking is not something done consciously though. It’s not like someone sits down and makes lists of who is most fuckable of their friends, it just happens It’s far more likely that the next 2 in line don’t end up being a back up due to circumstance. Maybe they get in a relationship, maybe they move, whatever. But if not, some people will deliberately keep them around because there is some level of romantic possibility there, they’re just not their first choice Sorry, hope I don’t come across as too sociopathic with this line of thinking, but like I said, I think more people do this than you think, especially younger people |
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I've known some people who were relegated to an obvious "back up" status at various times. Millennials for whatever reason seem way more prone to such things. My advice has always been, grow some self respect, don't let yourself be mistreated so badly, find someone else. Seems to me that a relationship with a "back up," who isn't preferred by definition, must be more likely to fail. |
Women should wear american flag burkas because they abuse their sexuality to rot the minds of our children.
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So TLDR the hip thing to do now-a-days is lock it down to body type 1 at character creation and never show skin on character models?
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this thread is pretty accurate tbh
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I just see a hole and I dive right in
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The short answer is no reason to unless you want kids. The long answer is marriage is only as good as the people involved |
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