I know. Just trying to describe what it reminds me of when players talk about not inviting other players due to an experience penalty. That's something that would happen in WoW (if they had experience penalties).

And I guess here as well now.... :(

20 years ago everything was a mystery and this game was magical. People were the same. They have a natural inclination to min/max, but they can't if they don't know any better. So my first character was a Human Druid who put all his points into Strength

Now we have experienced, and a wiki. So most people are at least going to consider what is optimal when making decisions. Thanks to the hard work of the people behind this project, you can play and usually glimpses of the magic, but it will never be the same!

I will say though, despite what you read on these forums, in the game itself, leveling up, even on a 10 year old server, I find that almost all the people i encounter are super nice, friendly, curteous, and I don't expect many would shun hybrids (even if they are themselves min maxing a bit they won't let it dictate who they group with). On green I think the fresh start, new players, etc will have an even better atmosphere. Somehow this game exists in a bubble, in terms of social dynamics playing video games / being on the internet in the year 2019.

tl;dr
I think the negativity on the forums is overblown for what you'll actually see in game.

Do you want to be the best group tank or a high utility melee DPS?

This is all good info. Part of me is leaning Ranger since I could be a Woodelf. Plus the duel wielding, sow, dps factor. BUT flaming sword Pally with potentially a guise is pretty sick.

I also tend to like dungeons more and if Rangers are not going to be welcomed- meh

Decisions, decisions.

Again, it depends who you meet up with. If I was leader of a guild or a group and we needed one more, I would choose a Ranger any day! Snare FTW!!
I also have nothing against Paladins! Love em!!

I have seen exactly one player get upset that the group went from 3 group members to 5. They were of course playing a human cleric of innoruuk.

It sounds like your deciding between Wood Elf Ranger, and a High Elf Paladin. High Elf is the worst race for a paladin in terms of stats. (Inb4 Erudite/Wis arguments)

You also seem to have a desire for dps. Paladin dps vs non-undead is probably the lowest DPS in the game. A flaming sword is cool, but in the end you'd probably prefer doing more damage than looking cool. Either way Rangers eventually get lightning swords.

As you scale upwards in level you will have less HP than a paladin but better damage. Less healing for more utility.

I only think the people rushing to get 50 asap are going to be exclusive with groups. I already know your not a min/maxer so your already in a different crowd. You will probably find groups just fine with either class.

I'm min/maxing but I don't care about reaching 50 first so I wouldn't exclude you.
I think rangers are fine in groups as puller/dps/snare.

If I were you I'd choose a Ranger.

You are spot on. Ranger seems to be the life for me. INC deathtouches!

Ranger and Paladin are great group tanks in classic, but prepared to be shunned a lot by the xp penalty thing for the first 20 or so levels on this new server. I remember back on EQlive in Kunark (took some time for people to figure it out) a lot of people were hesitant about grouping my troll SK. Will be worse here and now.

I did a high elf Paladin on red99 from the start and that was pretty brutal. It was a little bit easier to get groups though I think because of the pvp element, but that value (pvp defense) will be missing from the equation for you on green.

ANYONE on green that picks a hybrid, please bring a lot of patience with you until you've found a guild and a couple dozen levels.

IMO levels 1-50 aren't too bad. Leveling from 51-60 however, with the 40% penalty, is an absolutely crying chore!