Was I Just at "One of Those" Kind of Massage Places

[Dac321]

So I was just in the mood to have a typical massage. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was just out and had some time to kill. I saw a massage place that said walk-ins welcome. The last couple of times I’d try to go to hand in stone or massage envy they were booked out for days. I figured, what the heck? While I was at the light to do the U-turn I ran a quick Google search, it had a 4.7/5 review. Seemed legit according to Google.

Upon entry:
The first thing I noticed, it was super dark inside. I chalked it up as just a “family-owned and operated thing” I wasn’t too suspicious at first because I was greeted immediately by a kind woman.

She walked me directly to a very dark room. I didn’t have to fill out any paperwork or information. She asked if it was cash or a card. I usually pay by card, but it has just been my birthday and had received some cash. So I paid cash upfront.

I noticed a sign in the room that said, “We don’t do any illegal activity” or something similar to that. My thought immediately went to, that’s a sign I would put up if I was in fact, doing something illegal lol.

I didn’t really receive too many instructions at first of when to get on the bed or under the sheets so I waited a moment until she peaked in and asked for me to go ahead and get ready. She gave me about 20 seconds to get undressed. I’ll typically get a massage in my gym shorts or drawstring shorts. When I got underneath the blanket she asked me immediately about the shorts. I went with the flow and said, yes I can take them off. She went ahead and started to take them off for me as I was laying on my stomach.

During the massage, she asked whether I wanted it “soft or hard” never referring it to a Swedish or deep tissue. I told her hard, as I wanted a deeper tissue massage.

The first thing that completely caught me off guard was she pulled my boxer briefs past my cheeks, exposing my rear end. During the back massage, she constantly ran her hands up from my neck to the bottom of my cheeks. It did feel great.

The second interesting thing that happened was she straddled on my back. I could basically feel her legs on and around my buttocks. She began popping my back, which again, was a nice surprise as I did enjoy it.

At this point, I’m trying to think if this is just a cultural difference in massage therapies.

When I flipped, I was covered with the thin sheet but she did massage the sides of my groin. She never actually touched my penis or anything but got pretty damn close.

When she was finished, she patted me and said all done. The weirdest part was she didn’t exit to allow me to change or dress. She handed me water. She motioned me to lean up and began taking the sheet and fold. I was standing in the room just in my boxers and dressed in front of her.

The verdict. I would go back if it was legit, as it did feel great and relaxing. I just don’t know if she was waiting for a specific cue from me to take it to the next level. I’m not looking for anything, I just want to know what kind of place I’m going to lol.

[unsunghero]

Most massages I’ve heard are naked with towel over privates. It complicates the motion having to go over sliding fabric

Most likely it was a legit place. A good rule of thumb was asking was the massage itself good? Happy ending places typically give shitty massages (just barely rubbing)

[unsunghero]

^
Also, Happy Ending places are typically going to have very late hours, that’s another giveaway

If you see a massage parlor open until midnight or 2am with a neon massage sign, that’s a happy ending place

Expect a shitty massage and sad hand job by an overweight 40yr old Vietnamese woman

[Dac321]

Lol. The massage didn't feel like a deep tissue massage, but I could probably chalk that up to cultural differences or techniques. This particular place was open 7 days a week until 9:30 PM which does seem late, but not as late as you suggested.

[Lune]

Doesn't really sound shady but hard to tell without being there. I can tell you as someone trained in popping backs, straddling you provides great leverage especially if she was much smaller. When I had ortho clinicals (only time I've done manual therapy), if I could have straddled patients to pop their backs, I would have.

I'd just chalk it up to her being comfortable with bodies. These people see body after body all day and you may have read her lack of hangups as something it wasn't.

[unsunghero]

Lol. The massage didn't feel like a deep tissue massage, but I could probably chalk that up to cultural differences or techniques. This particular place was open 7 days a week until 9:30 PM which does seem late, but not as late as you suggested.

Nah, look for seedy part of town, late night hours. You are also more likely to get them to agree to whatever else for $$ the later in you come, as they expect anyone coming in after 10pm is looking for something sexual. If you look a lot like a cop they might still decline, as cops will go in and proposition them and bust them when they agree

I wouldn’t recommend it though, usually the girls in those are uggo’s. In the old Craigslist or Backpage massage parlor ads they would have pics of beautiful young Asian girls….yea….that’s never usually the case

Ones are hot in Vegas tho IMO

[unsunghero]

In my younger days I went into a Happy Ending place who’s ad I saw on Craigslist or something

All the girls were overweight and old, but you don’t know this until the girl walks into your room and by then it’s too late to decline (or at least it was for me because I’m polite)

She put lotion on me and barely rubbed at all, was the worst excuse for a massage I ever heard of. She made a handjob motion and asked and I said “no thanks” when I was really thinking “not from you”

Wasted my money there. Live and learn, I’ve done some wild stuff ;)

[Dac321]

I didn't get any hand jerk motions and it wasn't in a terrible part of town. Sounds like a safe place to return without the doors being kicked open and being in the wrong place at the wrong time lol.

[Ooloo]

Imagine how insecure dudes who are married to\dating masseuses must be

Hey babe how was work today? Did you jerk anyone off or was it like a normal one?

[unsunghero]

Imagine how insecure dudes who are married to\dating masseuses must be

Hey babe how was work today? Did you jerk anyone off or was it like a normal one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8bv-QMPz7s

[loramin]

Imagine how insecure dudes who are married to\dating masseuses must be

Hey babe how was work today? Did you jerk anyone off or was it like a normal one?

I'm married to one, but I'm not insecure in the slightest.

She's always worked at 100% legit places, she's never had any desire to give hand jobs to strange men, and she's told me (horrified) on the very rare occasions when some pervert tried to ask her for sex on the job.

So yeah, zero concerns as a massage therapist husband ... but it's pretty great when I need some massaging :D. I hit the wife jackpot.

[Origen]

I've never once had a professional massage, professional or ejaculatory. Maybe I should try it out.

[u_lock]

Weird to make me stop lurking to answer this, but this is a 100% legitimate massage. I get them about monthly, this is just the standard "random Chinese shop" style. Nothing sexual about this, except for whatever you're conjuring in your mind.

[unsunghero]

I've never once had a professional massage, professional or ejaculatory. Maybe I should try it out.

My co-worker gets them almost weekly, he uses it as a form of self-care to de-stress. I give him shit because he’s a hardcore gamer (as hardcore as you can be while still being employed), and almost never does anything active

Meanwhile I’m constantly working out to the extreme causing all this damage, and I’m like you and never get them. I think I’ve gotten maybe 4 in my lifetime

Honestly though if I could afford them I would be very tempted :/

[Toxigen]

Sounds like a good massage.

[Patriam1066]

Doesn't really sound shady but hard to tell without being there. I can tell you as someone trained in popping backs, straddling you provides great leverage especially if she was much smaller. When I had ortho clinicals (only time I've done manual therapy), if I could have straddled patients to pop their backs, I would have.

I'd just chalk it up to her being comfortable with bodies. These people see body after body all day and you may have read her lack of hangups as something it wasn't.

Californian would straddle men if it were permitted and says other people have hang ups

America has changed so much in my life time. I could kill 4-5 of you guys in hand to hand combat even as I approach age 60

[Patriam1066]

Sounds like a good massage.

[Trexller]

I could kill 4-5 of you guys in hand to hand combat even as I approach age 60

weird thing to say in casual conversation. mentioning that you could kill 4-5 of us with your bare hands as if you're commenting on the nice weather we're having.

with such a comment on the forefront of your mind, there must be some concern as to it's validity, that it had to be put out there in the world to aid in your mind's digestion of the thought.

so I call BS on that. Speaking for myself, and knowing what im capable of, you're going to have to work very hard for your prize.

and I'm one guy.

you are a wildly insecure individual.

[Origen]

woof pot meet kettle

[Patriam1066]

I could take 10 Koreans

[Toxigen]

Californian would straddle men if it were permitted and says other people have hang ups

America has changed so much in my life time. I could kill 4-5 of you guys in hand to hand combat even as I approach age 60

lets go old man

[Duik]

Californian would straddle men if it were permitted and says other people have hang ups

America has changed so much in my life time. I could kill 4-5 of you guys in hand to hand combat even as I approach age 60

In other words, I love my fellow man sooo much im prepared to internet warrior myself so you all can feel secure in yourselves.

Thanks bud(lite) you have your transition date set yet?
Matriam, now and forever. #rainbow

[Origen]

I imagine Patriam is one of those old men in a biker gang, except all of their decorations are pictures of various characters from the Everquest franchise

[Trexller]

I imagine Patriam is one of those old men in a biker gang, except all of their decorations are pictures of various characters from the Everquest franchise

Patriam's Gang Tattoos

https://i.imgur.com/m2q3swY.jpg

https://assets-cdn.daybreakgames.com/uploads/dcsclient/000/000/108/521.jpg?v=1.0

https://i.imgur.com/Oq1JdCs.jpg

[Duik]

I imagine Patriam is one of those old men in a biker gang, except all of their decorations are pictures of various characters from the Everquest franchise

So, if he hits you with a forearm, effectively he either maces you or slices you.
He lied about the "hand to hand".
Lies on the interwebs, whoda thunk it.

Do you yanks use the term Ball and Chain to reference the good lady wife?

Also, Origen thinks about Old Men.

Also also, is it true the woke left hollywood is doing a remake of He-man called She-man. By the power of GaySkull I'd watch that. And remember kids, if you see a girl ALWAYS start her of with a Christian Kiss. Just to make sure. 'Till next time.

[Patriam1066]

An elbow doesn’t count as hand to hand? A good forearm to the dome always works in a bar fight in my experience

[Duik]

Matriam, I say let the scientific method be your guide. Head to the bar, drink up. 5 cosmopolitans should do it. Then, pick 4-5 punks and try those moves. Video (3rd person view) please.
Go!

[Origen]

Imagining the combat abilities of AARP members is a healthy thought process when compared to constant handwringing about trans people and pedophilia ��*♂️

[Patriam1066]

Crocodile Dundee drinks cosmos

Makes sense

[Duik]

Amenadiel thinks cosmos are yummy. He's a manly angel.