Cheating in chess controversy

[unsunghero]

Up and coming “Prodigy” with a history of being caught cheating beats #1 chess player in the world, Magnus Carlson

The leading theory on how is…get this….anal beads with a computer in it sending Morse code signal pulses of the perfect next move for the board

They do a re-match and based on the accused cheater’s second move, Magnus resigns the game

Sore loser or is this guy cheating? I don’t believe the anal bead theory but I do think just like PED’s in sports people are going to be getting better and better at getting away with cheating

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0cSP9hMpbPo

[Encroaching Death]

The leading theory on how is…get this….anal beads with a computer in it sending Morse code signal pulses of the perfect next move for the board

Who came up with that theory?

I want to shake that gentleman's hand.

[Jibartik]

Watching online chess drama makes me want to be the guy that gets to blow up the planet himself.

[Jibartik]

At least play battlechess.

[MrSparkle001]

Oooh this chess match is feeling SO good. Omg I'm gonna win it's so good.

https://memegenerator.net/img/images/13422958.jpg

[magnetaress]

I am not suprised. Anal beads would work. U could probably make it programmable too so u could just program the board with a series of squeezes.

[Encroaching Death]

Chess + Ass Play

Damn, I just went 6 to midnight

[unsunghero]

Who came up with that theory?

I want to shake that gentleman's hand.

Lol I don’t know exactly who but no lie it became the prevailing theory

This is because supposedly this tournament has judges that wave everyone down with wands that can detect electronics in the pocket but wouldn’t through your ass

It would be hilarious if it was true and mainstream, because then everyone would have to have a scope up their ass during chess tournaments lol

[unsunghero]

This is pretty huge for the future of chess though, because if it is true that this person is still cheating (I use “still” because a lot of people are siding with him even though he has a record of cheating, and I personally believe once a cheat always a cheat), then competitive chess is essentially over

Because now people are cheating and we know we can’t catch them. That can only be the end of competitive chess

Edit: it’s even worse than cheating in sports with PED’s because the natural athletes still have a chance to win. But even Magnus has zero chance against these chess computer programs

[Duik]

Chess + Ass Play

Damn, I just went 6 to midnight

Chass Play?

[Duik]

Must use a Chasstity Belt to play.
Also, Gay chess tornaments, who allow (and encourage) arse inspection would flourish.
Left wing conspiracy.

[red_demonman]

But how would you transfer information to rectum computer on the current board state.

[Duik]

Max Ram

[Encroaching Death]

But how would you transfer information to rectum computer on the current board state.

Hear me out:

Butthole Communication Device (patent pending)

Small fiber optic cables attached to the balls via metal alligator clips. Every time signal passes through the anal beads, the ballsack jiggles sending communicative signals through the cable back into the anus and up through the intestines leading up to the eye sockets.

Another set of alligator clips are latched onto the back of the eyes where video and audio is pumped into a small LCD screen that is flexible and glued ONTO (or in, your choice) the retina.

[Duik]

Hi fibre encourages output. Howto increase input?

[Encroaching Death]

Howto increase input?

I believe any household sexual lubrication will help with that

[unsunghero]

But how would you transfer information to rectum computer on the current board state.

It would be a multiple-person operation. These things are televised so you would have someone plugging Magnus’s moves into a computer which is running one of those unbeatable chess programs and countering with the perfect move

I have a cousin who is a semi-competitive chess player, and he is actually siding with this Hans guy and saying Magnus is just a crybaby and sore loser

Here’s why I don’t agree, two reasons:

1. Hans said in an interview that the reason that he won was he prepped for Magnus’s 20 move opener on a hunch before the game. This alone isn’t suspicious because studying people’s openers and learning counters is common practice. But Magnus had NEVER done that opener before. So….wtf

2. I’ve watched clips of this Hans guy talking at 16 and then at his current age 19. He sounds completely different. And I’m not talking like a deeper voice after finishing puberty. He’s changed his inflections, his tone, his word choice, almost to the point where he’s trying to sound like some posh fancy person with an accent. He’s basically pulled an Andrew Tate, who also completely changed the way he talked after he went from kickboxer to (scammer) manosphere influencer

And THAT is super fucking weird. I don’t trust anyone who suddenly changes how they speak. I’m sorry, I don’t and I never will

[Toxigen]

how exactly would one cheat in chess

[unsunghero]

how exactly would one cheat in chess

Chess programs have become so sophisticated that they are completely unbeatable by even the best chess players in the world

From Google: “Chess engines are much stronger than humans, with the best of them reaching an estimated Elo rating of more than 3000. Engines are also getting stronger each year due to improvements in hardware and software”

“Since IBM's Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, advances in artificial intelligence have made chess-playing computers more and more formidable. No human has beaten a computer in a chess tournament in 15 years”

[magnetaress]

Chess programs have become so sophisticated that they are completely unbeatable by even the best chess players in the world

From Google: “Chess engines are much stronger than humans, with the best of them reaching an estimated Elo rating of more than 3000. Engines are also getting stronger each year due to improvements in hardware and software”

“Since IBM's Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, advances in artificial intelligence have made chess-playing computers more and more formidable. No human has beaten a computer in a chess tournament in 15 years”

Tldr humans are obsolete.

[unsunghero]

“Hans Niemann, an up and coming youngster”

You pronounced “an up and coming cheater” wrong

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq2DJJ_1Nu4

[Jibartik]

Chess is a game that is going to be won by a computer every time.

It’s a neat game but the fact that a computer can win it every time kind of implies that it’s not a very good game and the only people that are good at it are people that aren’t human.

Like people good at chess don’t exude the qualities that make people more human, and that’s why they win, they exude less qualities that make people human and make them more like a machine.

Nobody should be prouder more like a simple machine and less like a complex soul.

[unsunghero]

I was listening to a video of grandmasters saying he was playing with a computer-rated score that not even Bobby Fischer was playing at or something

[Jibartik]

Losers IMO

[unsunghero]

Chess is a game that is going to be won by a computer every time.

It’s a neat game but the fact that a computer can win it every time kind of implies that it’s not a very good game and the only people that are good at it are people that aren’t human.

Like people good at chess don’t exude the qualities that make people more human, and that’s why they win, they exude less qualities that make people human and make them more like a machine.

Nobody should be prouder more like a simple machine and less like a complex soul.

Yes of course eventually AI should be able to be programmed to beat us at any game in existence

It can be pre-loaded with every strategy ever conceived ready to be utilized, can respond quicker than our eye->hand response time, and has algorithms that can do more computations simultaneously than our brain

When you consider all the other things the brain is managing, computing and remembering to allow the body to survive, I think it is still fancier than any computer currently though, although I could be wrong on that

[Jibartik]

I dont think I'm right on this one, but it's how I feel.

It just seems off to me. Like, I just think its wierd when we're like, "look at this child, its so good at piano!"

its kind of like, "look my kid is retarded in a neat way!"

[unsunghero]

Magnus has not been able to voice his concerns and suspicions because he would be opening himself up to be sued for slander or something

He has said he needs Hans to do up a contract saying he will not sue Magnus if Magnus says his concerns

And Hans will not do it. Another thing adding another layer of skepticism to those considering whether he won legit. If you won legit, why not allow your opponent to voice his concerns?

[Jibartik]

If you're not playing chess with wood or stone, you're not playing chess at all.

Everything else is being good at words with friends, and I will die on that hill.

[Tunabros]

bro how tf do you cheat on chess lmao

[hobart]

When you recreate his match(es), the kid plays almost perfect chess. He's three times the better player (makes the perfect move every time) than anyone else in the world that has ever played in modern history. Unpossible.

Radio controlled but beads? Undetectable terminator from the future? Not sure. But he's either cheating or he's a robot.

[Basanos]

If you're not playing chess with wood or stone, you're not playing chess at all.

Everything else is being good at words with friends, and I will die on that hill.I always wanted the three level chess set from Star Trek TNG. Those pieces were glass or acrylic IIRC.

[Jibartik]

wood = acrylic if they both from the same replicator :o

https://i.imgur.com/QM65728.png

[Basanos]

Hell yeah seven dimensional chess. I hope they keep thinking he’s got a plan even after he is gone of completely natural causes

[Jibartik]

He does, it's called rising from the grave 3 days later.

[Basanos]

He does, it's called rising from the grave 3 days later.I’ll likely be in my 70’s by then, and EQ will be like fifty years old, but if he comes back after dying I’ll probably just die instantly of a stroke myself

My last thought will be of Jibartik on the p1999 forums back when we still had two genders

[Jibartik]

I’ll likely be in my 70’s by then, and EQ will be like fifty years old, but if he comes back after dying I’ll probably just die instantly of a stroke myself

My last thought will be of Jibartik on the p1999 forums back when we still had two genders

https://youtu.be/LlYC-8Lj1oM?t=6042

[Basanos]

https://youtu.be/LlYC-8Lj1oM?t=6042I liken Christians talking about the end of days as doing a rain dance constantly until it rains eventually

Can’t help but notice those three actors are all white, SMDH. Do better, movies from 41 years ago

[unsunghero]

When you recreate his match(es), the kid plays almost perfect chess. He's three times the better player (makes the perfect move every time) than anyone else in the world that has ever played in modern history. Unpossible.

Radio controlled but beads? Undetectable terminator from the future? Not sure. But he's either cheating or he's a robot.

Their device detection protocols are not perfect. I imagine something similar to, but more sophisticated than this, but then how to update the program about the board state

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dnWwbqP6dV4

[Jibartik]

I liken Christians talking about the end of days as doing a rain dance constantly until it rains eventually

Can’t help but notice those three actors are all white, SMDH. Do better, movies from 41 years ago

heres the most modern athiest one

wr3J11fbRXk

[Kaveh]

I liken Christians talking about the end of days as doing a rain dance constantly until it rains eventually

Can’t help but notice those three actors are all white, SMDH. Do better, movies from 41 years ago

How do you know rain dances don’t work? What was the Druid spell in EQ? Getting old sucks I can’t remember shit

[unsunghero]

Their device detection protocols are not perfect. I imagine something similar to, but more sophisticated than this, but then how to update the program about the board state


Not sure if this scene shows it but he had a device tapping on his ankle

Edit: supposedly they don’t check people’s shoes, I heard Hikaru GM say. Of course now they probably will

[Basanos]

How do you know rain dances don’t work? What was the Druid spell in EQ? Getting old sucks I can’t remember shitCall of Karana or something, I don’t have it yet on mine but I do hoard opals for the day I need to cast it. I wish fire resists should go up in the rain.

I was implying that they do work, over a long enough period of time. I don’t mock Native Americans, I consumed too much Shadowrun in my youth to get on the bad side of Native Americans.

[Jibartik]

The coolest natruralist theory heard lately is that in the old days after it would rain, mushrooms would sprout, and the cavemen ate them and tripped and thought they saw god, who they assumed was showing that he provided the rain from the heavens.

thanks joe rogean

[Reiwa]

Call of Karana or something, I don’t have it yet on mine but I do hoard opals for the day I need to cast it. I wish fire resists should go up in the rain.

I was implying that they do work, over a long enough period of time. I don’t mock Native Americans, I consumed too much Shadowrun in my youth to get on the bad side of Native Americans.

Wake of Karana and it's not a toggle. You can only make it stop.

[Basanos]

The coolest natruralist theory heard lately is that in the old days after it would rain, mushrooms would sprout, and the cavemen ate them and tripped and thought they saw god, who they assumed was showing that he provided the rain from the heavens.

thanks joe rogeanthe stoned ape theory

[Jibartik]

that stoned apes discover

[Encroaching Death]

heres the most modern athiest one

wr3J11fbRXk

Quite possibly the best "rofl get fucked, Leftists" scene in movie history.

"You knew I was a snake when you let me in..."

[Basanos]

when you see your enemies everywhere, even in people on rooftops in movies from 1996, it usually means that's what scares you

[unsunghero]

Gotta be Jib to turn a topic from chess to aliens

As a rational person, I’d sure love to play with the aliens and have them let me fire their lazer guns too but the real problem I would worry about other than aggression would be disease/virus

Sort of like the ending to the newest version of war of the worlds but in reverse. Aliens accidentally bring a disease or virus that wipes us out

[unsunghero]

This is the most memorable line for the movie for me because the movie was so popular my parents used to use it whenever it applied to anything

Nowadays I still end up hearing it in my head when gunning it running

https://i.ibb.co/q9hpKrf/E4-A27220-0-E9-E-43-A1-8702-C3-B582-EA5362.gif (https://imgbb.com/)

[Basanos]

There's that comic series Trees, where the aliens are just... giant trees that don't even seem to notice that there's life on Earth at all when they get here. Because they're trees.

I find the concept of aliens being fundamentally alien the most interesting. Like, we don't recognize them as life, they don't recognize us as life, if at all. I often wonder if we've already met aliens but it didn't occur to us that was life.

[Kaveh]

Wake of Karana and it's not a toggle. You can only make it stop.

Damn how did I not remember this

[Kaveh]

There's that comic series Trees, where the aliens are just... giant trees that don't even seem to notice that there's life on Earth at all when they get here. Because they're trees.

I find the concept of aliens being fundamentally alien the most interesting. Like, we don't recognize them as life, they don't recognize us as life, if at all. I often wonder if we've already met aliens but it didn't occur to us that was life.

Russians

[Jibartik]

There's that comic series Trees, where the aliens are just... giant trees that don't even seem to notice that there's life on Earth at all when they get here. Because they're trees.

I find the concept of aliens being fundamentally alien the most interesting. Like, we don't recognize them as life, they don't recognize us as life, if at all. I often wonder if we've already met aliens but it didn't occur to us that was life.

Im 100% positive when your dog looks at you it's thinking, "come on boy, you can do it, say bark, say it!"

Consciousness is a mirror and everything is conscious.

Of course.... we're the only ones that the sun kills and exchange money for strength thereby usurping evolution.

But aside from that, there is no difference.

[Reiwa]

Not sure if this scene shows it but he had a device tapping on his ankle

Edit: supposedly they don’t check people’s shoes, I heard Hikaru GM say. Of course now they probably will

Bah gawd I swear it's Richard Reid all over again!

[unsunghero]

what scares you

[Encroaching Death]

those dolls look like they have souls trapped inside them

[unsunghero]

Hans Cheater is suing Magnus, Chess.com, even GM Hikaru for a quadrillion dollars

Do you know how often UFC fighters accuse each other of cheating via doping? Like every fuckin day. Pro sports athletes accuse each other of cheating all the time

Why is this different again? And what’s wrong about voicing a SUSPICION of cheating? Last I heard defamation requires knowing something isn’t true and saying it anyway

Free speech isn’t free in sue-happy America

https://www.npr.org/2022/10/21/1130442319/hans-niemann-sues-magnus-carlsen-for-100-million-accusing-him-of-defamation

[Kaveh]

Hans Cheater is suing Magnus, Chess.com, even GM Hikaru for a quadrillion dollars

Do you know how often UFC fighters accuse each other of cheating via doping? Like every fuckin day. Pro sports athletes accuse each other of cheating all the time

Why is this different again? And what’s wrong about voicing a SUSPICION of cheating? Last I heard defamation requires knowing something isn’t true and saying it anyway

Free speech isn’t free in sue-happy America

https://www.npr.org/2022/10/21/1130442319/hans-niemann-sues-magnus-carlsen-for-100-million-accusing-him-of-defamation

An American named Hans? Sounds like a cheater to me

Plus he has curly hair. Guilty

[Reiwa]

Plus he has curly hair. Guilty

FzySP9lEVEU

[Kaveh]

Yeah, wavy or curly hair is definitely sinister like being left handed

[Reiwa]

Yeah, wavy or curly hair is definitely sinister like being left handed

But literally. Sinister means left I think, as in the Red Hand of Ulster.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/RedHandOfUlster_SinisterHand.png

Vs Dexter

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/RedHandOfUlster_DexterHand.png

[Kaveh]

I know literally dingus you were supposed to understand “sinister” Latin Catholic boy

You got molested, your Latin knowledge was supposed to be the good that came of it, smh

[Kaveh]

Ulster means Israel in Gaelic. As in a military fortress meant to keep terrorists in check