mortals are funny

[Elfminster]

random ancient mortal egyptian says to his wife,

"tomorrow, boo, i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking pyramid to live in when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Reiwa]

better than having your heart fed to a crocodile, imo

[Elfminster]

random ancient mortal greek says to his wife,

"tomorrow, boo, i'm gonna get up and build me some fucking statues to look at when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[starkind]

Yes, yes they (https://finance.yahoo.com/amphtml/news/bill-gates-just-won-legal-171500255.html) are (take a peek jibbyboi!)

[Jibartik]

imagine you do DMT and its 6 thousand years ago and you're king.

Then you give everyone DMT and you all do it together.

and then everyone works together to build pyramids that we still dont kno whow they built them 6 thousand years later because we cant remember how without all our lucifarian technology.

thats what I think

[Elfminster]

random stone age mortal says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking stone circle so i know when the longest day is when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Jibartik]

The more we gaze into the abyss (east commonlands) the more our soul becomes consumed by the machine.

:o

[Elfminster]

random renaissance mortal says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking cathedral so i can worship god when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random ancient mortal roman says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me some fucking roads fucking everywhere to drive down when i'm fucking dead. i can't fucking wait to get fucking started!"

:D

[Jibartik]

satan

"tonight I'm going to whisper in a mans dreams to build my dystopia"

😈

[Elfminster]

random medieval mortal says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking castle to protect me when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[starkind]

Now we build sexy wife waifu statues in virtual worlds. :o

[Reiwa]

satan

"tonight I'm going to whisper in a mans dreams to build my dystopia"

😈

https://i.imgur.com/sWE8ptL.jpg

[Elfminster]

random industrialist mortal says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking factory to make stupid shit for me when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random scientific mortal says to his wife,

"tomorrow i'm gonna get up and build me a huge fucking collider to play with when i'm dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Jibartik]

https://i.imgur.com/sWE8ptL.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/amgFRqO.png

[Elfminster]

random atheist mortal says to his wife,

"mortality is the best fucking idea ever! I can't fucking wait to die forever!"

:D

[starkind]

https://i.imgur.com/amgFRqO.png

Aliens or MMO server farms in the background?

[Elfminster]

random country singing mortal says to her grandpa,

"grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old fucking days...did families really bow their heads before they fucking died?"

:D

[Elfminster]

random 90's rapping mortal says to his homies,

"mortal mortal baby too old too old"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal says to his third wife,

"fuck it, tomorrow i'm gonna go make mortality fucking great again before i die of a fucking heart attack or something. i can't fucking wait to get fucking started!"

:D

[starkind]

Elfminister really delivering the dominos with this thread.

[Reiwa]

Elfminister really delivering the dominos with this thread.

You calling him a detoxx alt? 🙃

[starkind]

I know who it is obviously. Glad he's doing ok enough to post and have a sense of humor

[Elfminster]

https://i.imgur.com/sWE8ptL.jpg

[Intermission]

Tree vs statue of naked dude

exhibit a: Tree

https://i.imgur.com/hBQcCrS.jpg



lots of variety

some trees bring forth fruit to eat

provides large shaded area for large group of people to sit under

provides soil protection

can be used for other things such as building a tree house, firewood, furniture, etc

ideal for birds to build nests in

family friendly

can be planted by pretty much anybody

becomes more useful as time goes on

multi-purpose (like life)

eyecandy



exhibit b: statue of naked dude

https://i.imgur.com/rfwp96D.jpg



samey

no fruit whatsoever

very little shade

very little or no soil protection

no treehouse, firewood, furniture, etc

no bird nests

pervy

planted by mortals with "talent"

becomes even less useful as time goes on

single purpose (like death)

eyesore

completely fucking stupid

[Elfminster]

random mortal celebrity says to the iphone,

"mortal life is so fucking good! i feel so blessed! i'm doing better than fucking ever! "

:D

[Reiwa]

[Intermission]

Tree vs statue of naked dude

exhibit a: Tree

https://i.imgur.com/hBQcCrS.jpg



lots of variety

some trees bring forth fruit to eat

provides large shaded area for large group of people to sit under

provides soil protection

can be used for other things such as building a tree house, firewood, furniture, etc

ideal for birds to build nests in

family friendly

can be planted by pretty much anybody

becomes more useful as time goes on

multi-purpose (like life)

eyecandy



exhibit b: statue of naked dude

https://i.imgur.com/rfwp96D.jpg



samey

no fruit whatsoever

very little shade

very little or no soil protection

no treehouse, firewood, furniture, etc

no bird nests

pervy

planted by mortals with "talent"

becomes even less useful as time goes on

single purpose (like death)

eyesore

completely fucking stupid



You can just say the statue lacks in utility.

VvPaEsuz-tY

[Elfminster]

random mortal football fans chant,

"god save our gracious failure!
long live our noble failure!
god save failure!
send it victorious,
happy and glorious,
long to reign over us,
god save failure."

:D

[Elfminster]

You can just say the statue lacks in utility.

2I8kT0Xx9Tc

[Reiwa]

random mortal football fans chant,

"god save our gracious failure!
long live our noble failure!
god save failure!
send it victorious,
happy and glorious,
long to reign over us,
god save failure."

:D

In loving memory (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Memorial_Coliseum)

[Elfminster]

random mortal parents say to their newborn baby boy,

"welcome to the fucking party you lucky fucking cunt! now listen up. you need to do well at fucking school so don't fucking mess around and instead listen to the nice fucking teacher and then after fucking school you'll get a boring fucking job sitting in a dull fucking office (if you're fucking lucky) then you'll have a bit of fucking money to buy yourself an ugly fucking wife with to raise a fucking family together just before you fucking die of a brain fucking tumour or even something fucking worse. we won't be around to fucking see you fucking do it though because we'll be fucking dead by then fucking hopefully. good fucking luck! pray your fucking wife doesn't fucking leave you and that your fucking children aren't born fucking retarded. don't fucking forget we'll always fucking love you! xxx"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal teacher says to school children,

"hello kids, here are the fucking facts, first you're fucking born and then you fucking die so everything you do in between is completely fucking pointless. that was lesson fucking one. tomorrow is lesson fucking two: how 5 billion fucking years ago you were all stupid dumb cunts and how nothing much has changed. now fuck off and come back tomorrow but don't be fucking late or i'll put you all in fucking detention for not fucking trying hard enough to succeed at fucking nothing."

:D

[Elfminster]

I know who it is obviously. Glad he's doing ok enough to post and have a sense of humor

A/S/L?

[Elfminster]

random mortal redditor says to her mom,

"tomorrow i'm gonna go earn me some fake fucking karma to spend on things when i'm fucking dead. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal says to his wife,

"fuck it, tomorrow i'm gonna go tell everybody i fucking meet to get fucking vaccinated before they fucking die. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[starkind]

I'm offended you posted a mans rock hard penis online today.

[Elfminster]

random mortal microsoft company rep says to his hand puppet,

"fuck it, tomorrow i'm gonna go tell everybody i meet that using windows 7 is fucking dangerous and stupid so they use windows fucking 11 instead then i'm gonna die in a train crash or something. i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[starkind]

All the windows are horrible. Wish things ran natively on linux and it came preinstalled by some shady russian on my PC ))))) with all the security features disabled in the kernal so it would play my games fast!

Really the worst thing about M$ right now is instead of partnering with Amazon Prime/Google they went and pushed their own app store and game delivery platform aggressivley.

Which AI is better????

I'm betting on lamda

[Elfminster]

random mortal lawmaker says to his wife,

"fuck it, sugar, tomorrow i'm gonna go ban all mortals from taking fucking drugs. they'll thank me for it when they're fucking dead. i can't fucking wait to get started babe!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal says to his wife,

"fuck it, petal, tomorrow i'm gonna go stand in the middle of the fucking road for three fucking minutes with my bastard eyes closed to pay my fucking respects to a random dead cunt i've never fucking heard of before then i'm gonna fucking die of the flu or something. i can't fucking wait to get started darling!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal athlete yells to the dead crowd,

"i'm the fastest fucking failure that's ever fucking died! eat big macs fuckers!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal pop 'star' says to her broken mirror,

"fuck it, tomorrow i'm gonna go talk about mental fucking health non fucking stop and then i'm gonna tell everybody to vote for a white haired wrinkly senile fucker to be their fucking decision maker in death then i'm gonna go take a large quantity of prescription fucking drugs so i'm not so fucking depressed when i'm fucking dead. i can't fucking wait!! yay mortal fucking me"

:D

[Elfminster]

random political mortal says to his wife,

"fuck it, sweet tits, i'm gonna go try and convince at least 51% of the mortal population to vote for mortal me to protect mortal them from mortal danger! then i'll be in charge when i'm fucking dead! i can't fucking wait to get started!"

:D

[Elfminster]

random mortal goat herder says to his wife,

"babe, tomorrow i'm gonna go learn how to fly a jumbo fucking jet then steal one for myself and fly it into a fucking skyscraper in america. will you take care of the goats for me while i'm away?"

:D

[magnetaress]

When you catch the wrong fish! https://imgur.com/gallery/g5kUraG

[magnetaress]

random mortal pop 'star' says to her broken mirror,

"fuck it, tomorrow i'm gonna go talk about mental fucking health non fucking stop and then i'm gonna tell everybody to vote for a white haired wrinkly senile fucker to be their fucking decision maker in death then i'm gonna go take a large quantity of prescription fucking drugs so i'm not so fucking depressed when i'm fucking dead. i can't fucking wait!! yay mortal fucking me"

:D

Best one imo

[magnetaress]

https://i.imgur.com/ibe2Fdx.jpeg

[magnetaress]

Strong male version...

bPh-HbigY2Q