Embarrassing RL story time

[unsunghero]

Some examples for me:

1. Was jogging outside along a dirt path next to a sidewalk and noticed when I finished and was back at the gym that I a piece of jumping cholla cactus stuck to the back of my left calf. So I found a stick and began to pry it, but didn't pay attention to the angle. Soon I was able to pry it off....right into my other leg

2. (warning: this one is gross) Was on a vegas trip and sometimes when I go on vacation (especially camping) my digestion just shuts down and for some reason I don't go number 2, sometimes for days. This happened in Vegas but meanwhile I was eating tons of expensive delicious buffet food. I finally crapped after 2 days and it was one of the biggest craps I ever took in my life. It was a giant triumphant tower sticking straight up out of the water and the hotel left me literally nothing to whack it with (no plunger, no scrubby thing) to break it up. Tried flushing and of course it wouldn't flush, wouldn't even budge. I left it for the poor hispanic cleaning ladies to deal with

3. Was on vacation in Jamaica and was going down to the beach in just my swimsuit and apparently some middle-aged probably intoxicated ladies wanted to spit some game at me so they said "Hi there! How you doing?" or something like that to me. I didn't have my contacts in and there were other people around, so I looked in the general direction of them but couldn't tell if the blurry flesh-colors (how life looks without contacts in) were talking to me or someone else. So I continued on and very quickly heard a disappointed "Oh not gonna answer huh? I see how it is!". I am a people-pleaser type and get upset when I make someone upset, so I quickly tried to soothe things over. I ran over to who I thought were them and said "I'm sorry for not saying hi earlier, I'm doing good, how are you doing?". And they just stared at me thinking I was trying some weird pick-up line or something. Then I realized it was the wrong people and just gave up


I'll post some more as the memories I've tried to repress come to me, but feel free to post your own embarrassing RL stories if u want

[unsunghero]

Oh one more, a P99 one

I was practicing dungeon crawling and charm soloing deep in Runnyeye as a noob, and I thought it was the coolest thing to charm the higher level evil eye in there and watch it wreck stuff. Unfortunately, due to it being close to me in level (and I think it having some MR), charm wouldn't hold very reliably and kept breaking, sometimes I'd also have adds path into me

I was bound at the gypsies and hated the idea of having to gate and run back, so I kept trying to run out of the zone with the evil eye + adds behind me, but there was a full group exp'ing on the ramp leading down into the spot I was solo'ing at

I was still pretty new to P99 and forgot that you should at least announce trains. I didn't do that and just ran the train right into their oblivious heads. The ones sitting down I don't think were even at their computer, either way they instantly died. The sad part is I didn't just wipe the group once, I wiped them multiple times (in my defense the second time was more than an hour later and I had figured they were gone but nope, they weren't). And I could have just rooted or mezzed everything and gated, I just was too lazy to switch my bind point and didn't want to run back from the gypsy camp

"I want you to stop playing EQ" one of the members sent me a /tell of this. I didn't stop playing, but that was the last time I trained anyone. I felt bad

[unsunghero]

Last one I thought of before I go on my hike, this is a work one:

Years ago it was a slow day at work with multiple cancellations and so I was paired up with this middle aged guy who was kind of just a shit employee. Alcoholic, misogynist (the legit kind), hot head, long since having been fired nowadays. Because it was slow we had some down time, but we were on call for any community calls/requests that came in. He wanted to spend the downtime at his apartment close to the work office. We were watching a movie there when he says he wants to rip his bong. “Come on it’s slow, we’re not going to get any calls, just hit it with me”. He kept pressuring me and pressuring and finally I caved and did 2 big bong rips

Right after I finish the second rip the work phone goes off. It’s a police request for an out of control aggressive teenager (these sorts of situations should be considered DV/criminal/delinquent and not mental health, but police love to call these mental health calls, we call them “dump jobs” when they dump them on us). And this was years ago when pot was still illegal in AZ

“Oh God eye drops, do you have any eye drops”. I’m going to be speaking with cops who are trained to spot signs of intoxication, if we get a complaint that the mental health workers showed up high that’s it, we’re fired. Luckily he had some eye drops. We coordinate with police, and find out the teen was beating up his parents because they wouldn’t give him money for pot. So then I have to talk to this shitty domestic violence abuser teen about the risks of substance abuse, while high out of my mind

I’m glad God chose to punish me with situations like that, to teach me a lesson (that I only needed once) about getting high on the clock

Edit: oh yea and on the way there this guy says “I’m way too high so you are going to be doing all of the talking”. Thanks buddy….

[Chortles Snortles]

no friends, huh? :eek:

[unsunghero]

no friends, huh? :eek:

Or the only one who goes out in RL apparently

Edit: and doesn’t post pictures of other people as himself in RnF

[Chortles Snortles]

https://i.imgur.com/rUcba5D.jpg

[wuanahto]

I spent my youth playing online massively multiplayer games.

[unsunghero]

https://i.imgur.com/rUcba5D.jpg

“Hey guys check out my expensive beach vacation lifestyle”

[Chortles Snortles]

hey guys please be friends with me
(LOL)

[unsunghero]

hey guys please be friends with me
(LOL)

Hey guys here’s a pic of me at my fancy job. This was taken at our last meeting

Jealous yet? I’m the one in the suit

[nostalgiaquest]

In seventh grade I played bass guitar in the school jazz band. During a night rehearsal, we were mid song and I felt a fart coming on. Only it wasn’t a fart…and I shit my pants right in the middle of the song. Luckily I was in the back of the band, so without saying anything I immediately left class to the bathroom. Ended up throwing my underwear in the trash and coming back in commando. Teacher was confused and I just said “sorry bathroom emergency” and played it off as best I could. Thank Christ the rest of the band didn’t figure it out. My fragile teen psyche would not have been able to handle that ridicule.

Later in high school during my experimental drug phase, I thought it would be funny to take 10 corcidin cold and cough pills in the middle of my physics class. If you don’t know, corcidin contains dextromethorphan, which is a powerful ass disassociative. I quickly realized I was way out of my league and tried to go home. But since I wasn’t 18 yet, I couldn’t just leave, so I told the school nurse I had food poisoning and needed to go home. Problem was both my parents weren’t home, so they couldn’t get them to pick me up. They ended up calling a random neighbor I barely knew who was on my emergency card. She took about an hour to show up. Meanwhile I am tripping hard in the school nurses office, sure that they’re going to figure out I’m just an idiot on drugs. Luckily the neighbor showed up and awkwardly drove me home and everything was ok. My drugs friends at school all thought I died or something. Don’t fuck with cough medicine kiddos.

When I was in college I was in a welding class. Finished up a good looking oxy acetylene tent weld and went to pick up the red hot metal with a pair of toggle pliers, but I didn’t check what toggle setting they were on, which was an open one. So when I lifted the piece, it rolled right out of the pliers and into my lap. Red hot metal on my crouch. Luckily I was wearing some bad ass thick jean shorts, which were of course in style at the time. Burned a decent sized hole right through the jeans, but left mr winky unharmed. I stood up and immediately left class and went home. Luckily you can just do that in college.

I played guitar in a metal band in Seattle for a few years. At one of our bigger shows, we were opening up for Death Angel, I went to jump up on a stage riser to look super bad ass for a solo. Only I got tangled up in my patch cable while jumping, landed on just the corner of the riser, and fell backwards almost creaming the bass player. The rest of the show was good, and we ended up getting hammered with Death Angle after the show, but I Never lived that one down in the practice room.

When I used to work as civilian nuclear engineer for the Navy, I pretty much singled handedly caused a problem that delayed maintenance on an aircraft carrier for a full 2 days, which was a whole big fucking deal. Can’t get too much into the details, but you know you done fucked up when you have the captain of aircraft carrier and a shipyard commander calling your personal cell phone to yell at you.. That was a fun week… but I didn’t get fired haha

More recently, breaking my foot skateboarding as a 35 year old has been pretty embarrassing. Coworkers still giving me a whole ration of shit for that. Fuckers be calling me Tony Hawk and shit. Lol.

TLDR I seem to do dumb shit on a fairly consistent basis ��

Tell us some of your embarrassing cokehead stories lulz!

[unsunghero]

In seventh grade I played bass guitar in the school jazz band. During a night rehearsal, we were mid song and I felt a fart coming on. Only it wasn’t a fart…and I shit my pants right in the middle of the song. Luckily I was in the back of the band, so without saying anything I immediately left class to the bathroom. Ended up throwing my underwear in the trash and coming back in commando. Teacher was confused and I just said “sorry bathroom emergency” and played it off as best I could. Thank Christ the rest of the band didn’t figure it out. My fragile teen psyche would not have been able to handle that ridicule.

Later in high school during my experimental drug phase, I thought it would be funny to take 10 corcidin cold and cough pills in the middle of my physics class. If you don’t know, corcidin contains dextromethorphan, which is a powerful ass disassociative. I quickly realized I was way out of my league and tried to go home. But since I wasn’t 18 yet, I couldn’t just leave, so I told the school nurse I had food poisoning and needed to go home. Problem was both my parents weren’t home, so they couldn’t get them to pick me up. They ended up calling a random neighbor I barely knew who was on my emergency card. She took about an hour to show up. Meanwhile I am tripping hard in the school nurses office, sure that they’re going to figure out I’m just an idiot on drugs. Luckily the neighbor showed up and awkwardly drove me home and everything was ok. My drugs friends at school all thought I died or something. Don’t fuck with cough medicine kiddos.

When I was in college I was in a welding class. Finished up a good looking oxy acetylene tent weld and went to pick up the red hot metal with a pair of toggle pliers, but I didn’t check what toggle setting they were on, which was an open one. So when I lifted the piece, it rolled right out of the pliers and into my lap. Red hot metal on my crouch. Luckily I was wearing some bad ass thick jean shorts, which were of course in style at the time. Burned a decent sized hole right through the jeans, but left mr winky unharmed. I stood up and immediately left class and went home. Luckily you can just do that in college.

I played guitar in a metal band in Seattle for a few years. At one of our bigger shows, we were opening up for Death Angel, I went to jump up on a stage riser to look super bad ass for a solo. Only I got tangled up in my patch cable while jumping, landed on just the corner of the riser, and fell backwards almost creaming the bass player. The rest of the show was good, and we ended up getting hammered with Death Angle after the show, but I Never lived that one down in the practice room.

When I used to work as civilian nuclear engineer for the Navy, I pretty much singled handedly caused a problem that delayed maintenance on an aircraft carrier for a full 2 days, which was a whole big fucking deal. Can’t get too much into the details, but you know you done fucked up when you have the captain of aircraft carrier and a shipyard commander calling your personal cell phone to yell at you.. That was a fun week… but I didn’t get fired haha

More recently, breaking my foot skateboarding as a 35 year old has been pretty embarrassing. Coworkers still giving me a whole ration of shit for that. Fuckers be calling me Tony Hawk and shit. Lol.

TLDR I seem to do dumb shit on a fairly consistent basis ��

Tell us some of your embarrassing cokehead stories lulz!

Good shit, entertaining read. Never trust a fart lol. And damn yeah I hate bringing negative attention to myself at work, I woulda been hella stressed with that navy screw up

I only did coke a handful of times in Vegas and always actually had a good experience. I did actually get robbed, or semi-robbed depending on how you look at it, in Jamaica though:

I was there with my family, who are all considerably older than me. I wanted to experience some of the night life on our last night there, so I went out bar hopping by myself starting at like 9pm. The thing about Jamaica is that it's poor as shit, I used to think parts of Mexico like Nogales were poor, but they have nothing on Jamaica. The drive from the airport to the tourist hotel was nothing but thatched roof huts, no running water, no sanitation, goats in the front yard, that kind of poor. The touristy areas had a bit more money, but the locals were pretty predatory. They saw white people as nothing but walking piggy banks, and unlike mexico locals who made haggling in shops fun, Jamaica locals did it with a kind of angry jealousy that was notably un-fun. For example, a local would offer to take a walk with you and tell you about some of the bars around. At the end of like a 5 minute walk and convo he'd be like "how about you tip me like 5$ for that?" And if you refuse or delay, shock and anger "Come on, mon, RESPECT mon!" They'd always use the word "respect" as if not giving them money was being rude or something

So I generally walked around with my "fuck off headphones" in to not be bothered. But the last night out I was down to be bothered; I've always had a think for black chicks, and I think the Jamaica accent on an in-shape Jamaican girl is hot as F. So I was chatting up this hot local at a bar and she invites me to come to some party. Looking back this chick may have been a mark. I agree and she calls her friends, 3 dudes and another girl, and we all squeeze into this small car for a long as hell drive, like 20 min drive out of the tourist area. I got to the party around 10pm and it was pretty bumping, and luckily right off the bat I spotted like one or two other white people there, and assumed they were tourists like me

I got offered beers and the strongest edible brownie I had ever had in my life. Pretty sure it could have been laced with something, because I was an uncomfortable, paranoid amount of high. But I tried to counter it with beer and just chill and chat, but quickly the hot chick that brought me there, along with most of the other chicks, and the few other white people, were gone. By about midnight I noticed I was like the only white person left there, and the vibe was notably different. I told one of the chick's male friend that rode with us that I had to bounce, that we were leaving for home tomorrow, and that I was gonna call a cab

I forgot the cardinal rule of Jamaica: whatever you are offered, you are going to be asked to pay for. And way more than the normal cost. Right away the chick's 3 male friends came out to me in the front yard on the phone with a cab company and said "hey mon, you owe us for the weed and beer". And I was like "oh sure absolutely, it was good shit, thanks again, I have like $60 on me, will $40 do?"

"You owe us gas too for the ride out here, $60 not gonna cut it, mon". Right then, it was size-up time. I was in pretty good shape still, and figured I could take any one of these guys. I hadn't noticed any guns or weapons on anyone, and remembered that Jamaica had incredibly strict gun laws (although whether they did anything was another question). But it woulda been a 3 on 1 fight, with other people from the party no doubt coming out, and with the weapons question unanswered I made a judgement call "No problem guys, let's go to an atm then". All 3 got in their car and drove me to the nearest atm, another uncomfortable 10ish min drive

Luckily since I had been taking out money all day in a foreign country, my bank declined my request to take out another $100 I was going to offer them. I told them my bank was shutting down my request, but that I would take the limit of what it would let me withdraw, which happened to be another $60. They accepted this, hopped in their car, and took off stranding me to call another cab

Anyway, not the best mugging story, but yeah sort of felt like a non-violent robbery that could have gone sideways, so glad it went as good as it could pretty much

[Chortles Snortles]

yay u made a friend!

[Mblake1981]

https://i.imgur.com/e70q1sv.gif

[unsunghero]

yay u made a friend!

[Chortles Snortles]

Come on, mon, RESPECT mon! that weak ass meme not gon cut it, mon!!!

[unsunghero]

Come on, mon, RESPECT mon! that weak ass meme not gon cut it, mon!!!

/shudder

Memories…

[starkind]

I was at a training once and I went out with my buddy and drank this giant fishbowl full of some green alcohol as a challenge at somebar, payed $40 forit lol. I somehow accidentally got out of my hotel room naked without a keycard. I was perfectly able to walk down to the front desk and ask for a new one while completely black out drunk. Friend threw a towel around me and got me back in my room after the front desk called him down.

@nostalgiaquest being a nuclear engineer (lol)... oh I believe you...just that you're actually was a nukeboi

[nostalgiaquest]

Tell us some of your embarrassing cokehead stories lulz!

Aww cmon Chortles, take a sniff down memory lane with us.

[nostalgiaquest]

@nostalgiaquest being a nuclear engineer (lol)... oh I believe you...just that you're actually was a nukeboi

Yup. For about ten years. It’s way less cool than it sounds. Basically involves blindly memorizing and regurgitating a bunch of manuals. Very little actual engineering l. But I got to see some cool shit and travel a lot. Did time at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, Naval Air Station North Island, Command Fleet Activities Yokosuka, and Bangor Trident Refit Facility. I used to look out my office window at Bangor and watch them training actual dolphins and seals to patrol the piers, and these big ass elephant seals used to battle each other for positions on the back of docked subs, since I guess it was nice and warm there. Was always a shame you couldn’t bring cameras into the restricted areas.

[Chortles Snortles]

so i logged on to my sk and handed in my tome of discord to kill some naked level 1s
wasn't going to kill our star streamer whos stream event "is the largest number of people ever watching p1999" (wow!)
so i get permanently GM mezed and can't cast spells and im invulnerable and can't be ported out of the swamp nor cast my sow potions
/q doesn't fix it
so noticing im invulnerable i head to lguk to have some fun testing my new abilities
of course this elf time out is magically turned off while i have the minotaur maze trained towards the zone out near king and die
the kind GM rez's me after scolding me for "possibly" ruining this event
i thank him for his volunteer service and comment that i forgot world interference is only cool when they do it
get banned
sip

[Bardp1999]

I can imagine you a Dunkin Donuts, covered in a thin layer of sweat stuffing your fat face with donut holes from your greasy tiny hands.

[Gravydoo II]

I can imagine you a Dunkin Donuts, covered in a thin layer of sweat stuffing your fat face with donut holes from your greasy tiny hands.

PFFFTTTTHAHAHAAA

[starkind]

I can imagine you a Dunkin Donuts, covered in a thin layer of sweat stuffing your fat face with donut holes from your greasy tiny hands.

Man, let it go fungusfoot. It's embarrassing how mad and obsessed you are with his hands.

so i logged on to my sk and handed in my tome of discord to kill some naked level 1s
wasn't going to kill our star streamer whos stream event "is the largest number of people ever watching p1999" (wow!)
so i get permanently GM mezed and can't cast spells and im invulnerable and can't be ported out of the swamp nor cast my sow potions
/q doesn't fix it
so noticing im invulnerable i head to lguk to have some fun testing my new abilities
of course this elf time out is magically turned off while i have the minotaur maze trained towards the zone out near king and die
the kind GM rez's me after scolding me for "possibly" ruining this event
i thank him for his volunteer service and comment that i forgot world interference is only cool when they do it
get banned
sip

Cool story bro.

[mcoy]

When I used to work as civilian nuclear engineer for the Navy, I pretty much singled handedly caused a problem that delayed maintenance on an aircraft carrier for a full 2 days, which was a whole big fucking deal. Can’t get too much into the details, but you know you done fucked up when you have the captain of aircraft carrier and a shipyard commander calling your personal cell phone to yell at you.. That was a fun week… but I didn’t get fired haha


Damn it Rimmer, you can't do sloppy work on the drive plate!

-Mcoy

[starkind]

^^

[BlackBellamy]

I had a gun pointed at me and when you're looking at the gun you're not really paying attention to the guy and then when you're sprinting and ducking you're not really aware of the finer facial features either. So later when I'm talking to the detective he's like you're gonna go to county and help do a sketch and I wanted to be helpful so I was like sure. So I get there and the guy shows me a 100 different polaroids yes polaroids of various inmates and says just tell me these lips, that nose, these eyes, don't worry about describing the guy, just pick out the features that you see in the photos. So we sit there for a long time, and the sketch is just a sketch, I don't know if it looks like the guy or not. The guy keeps asking me and I'm like yeah yeah I keep nodding my head but deep inside it's all the same, especially after staring at all those photographs.

So finally we're done and I look and it's Generic Black Guy and I give the sketcher the thumbs up and say, yeah that looks like him.

Sorry Generic Black Guy, I was too embarrassed to admit I wasted the guys time.

Hope you're out of jail now and back on your feet!

Sorry again.