Nocht
07-20-2021, 01:29 AM
My room mate violated his agreement to free housing and I had to end my friendship with him. It was a really hard thing to do because I’ve known him ever since he was born. He was a really cool guy, when my girlfriend was over he always made sure not to bother us. Not once has he touched the beer in the fridge or ate the last slice of pizza, he always respects the laws of the kitchen.
He’s always been real good at keeping the inside space free of cockroaches and flies because he’ll eat them on sight and as gross as it seems I never called him out for it, because I appreciate the free pest control. Free protein is free protein after all, and he loves his fitness. Never skips leg day.
I never questioned it when he would run across the ceiling butt naked in the middle of the night because he always paid his portion of the rent. Most of the time he just hangs out in his part of the house working on his knitting, the guy could make some pretty nice silk quilts, like Grandma tier.
Hes always been a good friend and knows the boundries of the household and respecting each other’s privacy, but tonight he pushed the limit too far when he ran across my desk stark naked. At first it just startled me when his head poked out of the shadows behind the panel where the keyboard sits. I was like “alright dude its cool I’ll pretend I didn’t see that” but he just kept staring at me. He draped his long hairy legs on my keyboard and just sat there for a couple of minutes.
It was here that I knew our relationship was over, he crossed the line… there was no coming back after this. So I did what any good friend would do in this situation and grabbed a shoe and smashed his head in. It was done… I took his body and wrapped it up in a napkin and threw him in the wastebin.
Robert if you are out there please know I’m really sorry, and I’ll always love you as a friend.
So thats how it happened, thats how I killed my friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
He’s always been real good at keeping the inside space free of cockroaches and flies because he’ll eat them on sight and as gross as it seems I never called him out for it, because I appreciate the free pest control. Free protein is free protein after all, and he loves his fitness. Never skips leg day.
I never questioned it when he would run across the ceiling butt naked in the middle of the night because he always paid his portion of the rent. Most of the time he just hangs out in his part of the house working on his knitting, the guy could make some pretty nice silk quilts, like Grandma tier.
Hes always been a good friend and knows the boundries of the household and respecting each other’s privacy, but tonight he pushed the limit too far when he ran across my desk stark naked. At first it just startled me when his head poked out of the shadows behind the panel where the keyboard sits. I was like “alright dude its cool I’ll pretend I didn’t see that” but he just kept staring at me. He draped his long hairy legs on my keyboard and just sat there for a couple of minutes.
It was here that I knew our relationship was over, he crossed the line… there was no coming back after this. So I did what any good friend would do in this situation and grabbed a shoe and smashed his head in. It was done… I took his body and wrapped it up in a napkin and threw him in the wastebin.
Robert if you are out there please know I’m really sorry, and I’ll always love you as a friend.
So thats how it happened, thats how I killed my friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.